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Evil Machiavellian Identical Army
by Michael S. Collins

Breaking News: The Prime Minister is in the hands of armed terrorists. Armed evil terrorists. An army of armed evil identical terrorists. A mercenary army of armed evil identical terrorists. A mercenary army of armed evil identical Machiavellian terrorists. 

Breaking News: Downing Street is in the hands of The National Penguin Liberation Army. These crack troop Penguins have overcome the best counter terrorism in the land. They are bargaining with the Prime Ministers life. 

Breaking News: The country has submitted to Penguin rule. 

6 months later...

Breaking News: Penguins have gained Sedgefield from Labour, with an 100% swing to the NPLA. Penguin Fred had 1 vote, cast by himself. All other candidates, including the incumbent Labour MP, have no votes. Well, this is certainly a shock result, that the swing went so utterly against Labour in this constituency.

Breaking News: The NPLA have gained the 330 seats needed to form a majority in the House of Commons. Penguin A is now Prime Minister.

Breaking News: How the NPLA will deal with having all the seats in the House of Commons, having ousted everyone on an 100% swing, is anyones guess. The opposition will bray loudly on internet forums.

Breaking News: Bookies have slashed odds on a Penguin becoming new Home Secretary. They haven't stopped taking in money though. 

Breaking News: Penguin A is about to make his first speech as Prime Minister. Waa-waa waa-waa waa! Inspiring words from the Prime Minister there.