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Don't Lose Your Head
by Brian Barnett

The audience roared with cheers and whistles. Another successful trick floored them. Harry Gordon bowed to acknowledge his audience.

“For my next trick,” he announced dramatically, “I will remove my own head.”

The audience murmured amongst themselves, clamoring in anticipation. “Impossible,” he heard one of them whisper to his neighbor.

Harry’s assistant and wife, Misty Gordon, high-stepped her way to his side, gracefully. She flashed a wide smile to the audience while flipping her hair over her shoulder.

The fog machine poured a mist onto the stage and the music boomed overhead. Laser lights flashed colorful beams diagonally and a fan under the stage blew Harry’s shirt and hair for extra theatrics. Harry placed his hands on the sides of his head and paused to build tension.

With one good yank, he removed his head and handed it to Misty. She took it from him and held it high for everyone to see. She flashed a flirty smile as she attempted to appear a mysterious as possible.

The audience gasped and awed over the feat.

Harry’s hands motioned for her to pass the head back to him. Misty stumbled and dropped it onto the stage. It thudded like a ripe melon and rolled awkwardly to a stop. Harry’s eyes were wide. They shifted frantically trying to assess the situation.

“Christ!” The Harry’s head screamed. Panic began to set in. The back of his head throbbed.

She ran over to pick it up, but stumbled in her high hills. She sprawled out on the stage, inadvertently bumping the head off the edge. It sailed several feet and into the audience.

It landed in the lap of an elderly lady, who immediately fainted and slumped forward. Her body blocked the air from the Harry’s head.

His body panicked. It scrambled around the stage, flailing his arms wildly. His body could not decide whether to strangle Misty or find his way to the audience to sift through them for his head. He decided to attempt the latter.

The audience was unsure whether to laugh or panic. Some people streamed up the isles, while others held their sides with laughter.

Harry’s body tumbled off the stage and onto other audience members. They screamed in panic and pushed the body into the floor.

Finally Misty limped to the edge of the stage and slid off. She pushed the elderly woman up and off of Harry’s head. He gasped for air amid calling her names.

She snatched it out of the elderly woman’s lap and let her slump forward again. She handed it back to the Harry’s clamoring hands.

He promptly fixed it back upon his neck and made his way back onto the stage, cursing Misty the whole way. She stormed off the stage, gesturing with her middle finger as she left.

The remaining audience members gave a standing ovation. The magician hesitated. They did not realize the act was bungled, he thought. He bowed politely and winked with his good eye and removed a bubblegum wrapper from his cheek. This could be my new act, he realized, I better go find Misty.