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Combustura Subitus
by Michael S. Collins

COMBUSTURA SUBITUS was completely safe for export, of that I can assure you. It was a fantastic find. In the history of medicine, it ranked right up there with the discovery of penicillin. If we can rank penicillin up there with the modern wonder drug, I mean.

After all, wasn’t addiction the worst of our vices? Did we not have a War on Drugs for the better part of a century? Like most War on Nouns, it failed, because it could not see the branches of the problem, let alone the root causes. Which is why COMBUSTURA SUBITUS is vital in today’s market. An addiction killing herb. Think of all the great artists and musicians and politicians and family members we would still have here if not for the great drugs of alcohol and others.

Finding a plant in the Amazon, out of the blue, which can kill off all addiction was a God Send. So naturally, we rushed it through those checks. It worked on animals, most of them survived. We had until this point no human fatalities. For three years work, that was practically a miracle. In addition, it made the government lots of money. Billions. In these recessed times, it’s the difference between a stagnant pissant swamp of an economy, and the express style.

Moreover, oh, how it sold. Millions of addicts out there after all. Cured!

A few dissident voices of course, but we ignored them. What does Professor Ian Christie, Head of Pharmacology at the JFK Institute actually know after all?

Completely safe.

Almost completely safe. The fact that the plants we used as the control for the test have now started to suffer from self-combustion, is perhaps just a tiny bit of a concern.