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Braless in Australia
by Walt Giersbach

“A revolutionary discovery is rewriting the history of underwear: Some 600 years ago, women wore bras. The University of Innsbruck said that archeologists found four linen bras dating from the Middle Ages in an Austrian castle. Fashion experts describe the find as surprising because the bra had commonly been thought to be only a little more than 100 years old as women abandoned the tight corset. Also found at Lemberg Castle in Tyrol was a linen undergarment that looks very much like a pair of panties. It is men’s underwear — women did not wear anything under their flowing skirts back then.”
--Associated Press, July 2012

Frau Gutentag slammed into her daughter’s bedroom waving a lacy bra. “Ermentrude, what is the meaning of this bra I found in the midden heap?  If your bras are in the garbage, what are you wearing?”

Her daughter looked up from her needlework, arching her eyebrows. “Why, nothing, Mütte. That bra you are holding is a symbol of man’s oppression of women. From now on, I’ll wear nothing but corsets — under my 20-pound flowing silk and linen skirt, of course.”

“But, that is…is indiscreet.  What if a man were to see…?”

“Man?  There are no men. They’re off fighting the 30 Years War. And that’s another thing we girls are protesting.”

“War? But the men always have war, else what would they do?”

“Come home and help with the dishes and the sweeping, for one thing. And for another thing, men think they’re the only ones who can wear underpants.”

“Good Heavens, I’m shocked!  We women have gone panties-less for centuries.”

“Dear Mütte, it’s about time men learn exactly who will wear the pants in the future. Besides, Austrian winter winds blow under my skirt and chap my…”

“Don’t say it!  All right. I’ll join you in tossing my bra on the midden heap. And I’ll try on your father’s old underpants — at least until he and your 12 brothers come back from sacking the enemy.”

“And next week,” Ermentrude said, “I’ll make up my mind whether to vote Catholic or Protestant. Those monkish chants are quite nice, but I think Protestant fashion is so chic this year.  Wouldn't I look good in gray sack cloth?”