A True Story,
by Marvin Pinkis
Hockenleffer stared into the i's of her
dictionary, anxious to get on to the j's. Easily
bored, she decided to look into the eyes of
Horace Hockenleffer, her husband's step-brother
from a former parent. Horace basked in his
reputation as a neer-do-well, as if obsessive
gambling and carousing and a life devoted to
dissipation made for shiftlessness.
appeared charmed by his step-sister-in-law, she
of the golden locks and luxuriant black hair. She,
in turn, was captivated by his plain looks,
constant sneer and lascivious leers although she
did not know what "leers" were.
quickly when he advanced in her direction and
tossed her pretty head, a little too vigorously,
as it landed on the other side of the room.
Always the cavalier, Horace stopped pawing
Cynthia while she retrieved it but resumed the
petting upon her return.
has never mentioned you, Godfrey," mentioned
is your husband. I'm Horace," was his sharp
I couldn't tell a brother-in-law if someone hit
me with one."
brother-in-law. The servants, particularly that
little doll of a downstairs maid, Dolly Dalliance,
allege that you and that brother of mine haven't
engaged in sexual union since your nuptials."
know what "nuptial" was, but decided to
play along. "That's true. Nor have we bedded
since our wedding."
"Well, then, a looker like you oughta have
some fun." Nudge, nudge.
his coarse talk, Cynthia asked, "Whatcha got
"Do you like things, uh, excuse the
like street signs that say 'Equestrians have the
right of way?' But I do adore horses. Got any?"
actually. I own a brace."
teeth, huh? Doesn't show."
referring to horses."
sure. It's always dark when I take them out."
chirped, "No matter. Let's get outta dis
joint. I think we can make beautiful music
bring the horses?"
departure made Cynthia the fifth wife who had
left Godfrey who simply chalked it up to
coincidence and returned to his acclaimed
collection of album mounts and hinges from
countries the world over.