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And What Did You Have for Lunch?
by Walt Giersbach

“A politician in northern Sweden wants to list sex as an officially approved activity for civil servants during their daily paid lunch break. Per-Erik, Muskos of Overtornea on the Arctic Circle made ‘a serious and formal’ proposal… to add sex to the list of acceptable activities, which also include going to the gym or getting a massage, as well as eating.”  --Associated Press 

I told our Director that Agneta, a superb accountant, and I were simply making our country stronger through our noontime trysts. Morale would improve in our office. But he was so uncivil, so un-Swedish. He didn’t have to yell simply because Agneta had approached the tax auditor without her clothes on.   

We decided the motor pool would be safer from prying eyes.  Obviously, we had to turn on the truck engine because it was bitter cold. But how were we to know the bloody machine would lurch forward when Agneta had an uncontrollable orgasm and pushed the gearshift. Women do get emotional. Fortunately, we leaped from the truck before it crashed into the office. (We apologize for the supervisor’s broken member and his noontime lover’s wrenched back.)   

Seeking solace in a darkened conference room, Agneta and I still had 15 minutes of lunch break and resumed our noontime workout. No one was more chagrined when the lights suddenly were turned on and we found ourselves in the middle of the conference table surrounded by visiting dignitaries from Lapland. 

Yes, I know older Swedes are a bit embarrassed to talk about sex outside the bedroom. But we are happy to announce Agneta is now pregnant, we plan to marry, and Overtornea’s population will be 4,501 in nine more months.   

Soon I will be back to eating my reindeer sandwiches with lingonberries while Agneta is on maternity leave.  However, I’m happy that the Laplanders returned home with new thoughts on increasing workplace morale.