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Ahmed's Holiday
by Dan Gee

One day Ahmed decided that he wanted to go on holiday with his Mummy, Daddy and his pet Beaver, Dave.  So he went up to his mum and he asked “can we go on holiday?” His mum tried to think of a reason why not but it was near his birthday and he had just got over Ebola so she thought he deserved a treat. His Mummy said, “Yes Ahmed, as it’s your birthday soon, and you have been a brave boy, we can go.”

“Woopee!” Cried Ahmed in an excited, high pitched voice.

“Don’t get too excited, we don’t even know if the man at the holiday shop will have any holidays left. Let’s go and see”

So off they went to the holiday shop and spoke to the man on the desk, he had Holidays to everywhere! Ahmed didn’t want to go on a plane as he was scared of flying, he didn’t want to go on a train as he thought they were too crowded and he most certainly didn’t want to go in a car as it was too hot and stuffy! He wanted to go in a boat, he’d never been in one before and he loved the fish. He couldn’t swim, but he was learning and he was sure that with a bit of hard work, he could learn in time to be able to swim the Dolphins.

“Hello Mr Holiday Man,” said Ahmed, “Can we go on holiday please, in a boat, near Dolphins, ooo, ooo and hopefully next week so I can get back to watch the Special Olympics, ooo and and…”

“Wow, slow down Ahmed and remember to say please,” shouted his Mummy, punching him in the face, “Sorry, about that Mr Holiday Man, could we book a holiday for next week please, a cruise would be nice, one near Dolphins if you could.”

“How many people are going?” asked the man.

“2 adults, one child, ooo and Ahmed’s pet Beaver. I take it there will be a Beaver day centre”

“That’s no problem, and I’ll make sure there is a day care centre for your Beaver. In fact, here you go, just the holiday,” replied the man in a polite manner, handing over the tickets with a big grin stretched across his face.

“Yay, thank you Mummy, where are we going? Will I see the Dolphins?”

“Yeah, in fact you may even see mutated Dolphins, because, we are going on a Cruise of the North Sea, aren’t you excited?”

“Yes thank you Mummy I can’t wait to tell Daddy and Dave!”

So a week past and the holiday began, the weather was lovely, the sun was just viewable past the clouds of toxic waste being thrown out by the big towers near the coast. The sea was a lovely shade of brown, like chocolate fudge cake. And Ahmed’s mummy was right; there were mutated Dolphins, 28 feet long with massive fangs and even bigger horns.

Ahmed thought they were brilliant, but he didn’t swim with them, his Daddy said they were dangerous, so Ahmed played with his Beaver and practiced his swimming. There was loads to do on the boat, you could play tennis, volleyball and even watch films in the cinema. The best thing was still the swimming pool, it was massive!

Then, suddenly, there was a big bump and a loud crash. One of the Dolphins had bit into the ship. It was beginning to sink. Water was starting to fill the ship and Ahmed was very scared.

After a few minutes the boat was submerged in water but luckily most people had got into boats and were safe. Ahmed and Dave were fortunately in a boat but they couldn’t see Mummy or Daddy anywhere. They shouted and called but they didn’t hear anything. Dave slapped his tail in the water to make a loud noise but still they didn’t hear anything. Ahmed thought all was lost but then out of nowhere he saw his Mummy and Daddy struggling in the water.

Ahmed quickly constructed a plan, Dave would make a raft with his brilliant building skills, and then Ahmed would swim to his parents and get them. He would have to fight off the Dolphins so he grabbed a machine gun that just happened to be flying past. He shouted “I’m coming Mum and Dad, don’t sink, I’ll save you.” Then he said to Dave, “Be quick Dave they look tired”

Dave replied in a broad Yorkshire accent, “Aye lad woun’t be long, jus finish ma pie.” So he scoffed it down and quickly made a raft.

Ahmed swam hard and got to his parents really quick!

“Get on the raft,” he shouted, “You’ll be safe there!”

“Sod off, we caused this whole thing to kill you, we hate you, you are a wining little git and you always get in the way of our nights of hot love!” Shouted his Mummy, once again punching him in the face.

“You bastard, you absolute bastard, I hate you, “ Screamed Ahmed with a bloody nose. He punched his Mummy in the face and to his surprise his Daddy punched him. Then out of nowhere, Dave jumped in and ate his Mummy and Daddy. Ahmed was safe as he clambered on to the raft and sailed home.

When he got home, Ahmed was very upset, he used to love his parents but now they were nothing more than potential poo being digested in Dave’s digestive system. Although he was glad they were dead and not able to punch his face anymore, he did want his Mummy to tuck him in and Daddy to tell him bed time stories. Dave was illiterate and tried sending Ahmed to sleep by playing the banjo; it didn’t work. Just as Ahmed thought all was lost he had a very nice surprise. His REAL Mummy and Daddy jumped through the door and shouted “Surprise, we were kidnapped by an evil Beaver; in fact it’s that one! GET HIM” They ran at him with pickaxes and stabbed him repeatedly, Ahmed was both upset and happy, he got his parents back but Dave was dead.

It turned out that Dave wasn’t actually a Beaver, he was a mutated Dolphin who just looked like a Beaver As for the impostor Mummy and Daddy; they were terrorists hired by Dave to help him. Ahmed was now relatively happy; he got a new pet, a lovely Fluffy antelope which he loved very much. His real Mum and Dad never punched him in the face and they all lived happily ever after.