Where Have All
The Kittens Gone?
by Alan Delaney
primary philosophy of the system is that the
majority of the wealth is held by a small elite,
leading to a competitive market that favours free
trade and neutral state regulation. Under the
system, the elite can earn income simply by
loaning money to the less wealthy and collecting
the money back over time... What am I
called Capitalism, Sir. Its the primary
political system on Zeragan III.
And this is how they run their government?
ostensibly many of their governments follow a
cumbersome form of democracy, but the capitalists
run the governments, so yes.
yes. Theres more than one, Sir. Hundreds in
fact. But theyre getting there. Plans are
in operation for a one-world government as we
Stop staring at your feet, man. Spit it out.
seems that not many people know about the plans.
The political caste is being quite secretive
So we have a small, low-resource planet with a
population of seven trillion, who
billion, actually. Not trillion.
billion? I assumed that was a typo. Ive
been on bigger mining colonies.
It wasnt a typo. I double-checked that
So, seven billion, who can only live on one-third
of the planets surface, who dont have
a global government, who operate under a barbaric
Does this species have any
redeeming qualities? How about their technology?
thats quite advanced Sir. Long-range
nuclear weapons, orbital lasers systems,
microwave bombs, robot-mounted guns, missile
defence arrays. Theyre quite resourceful
really. If we gave them access to our technology
theres no telling what they could do with
it, if you catch my drift.
what does a planet with the population
of a large city need nukes for? Do they have many
each other, Sir. In fact they dont even
officially recognise the existence of non-terrestrial
you say this is the primary sapient species on
Sir, its the only one.
Right, Ive heard enough. How do you think
the environmentalists would react to a Code Seven?
officially a Code Seven would be forbidden on any
inhabited body, but, under the circumstances,
Im willing to bet that theyd be only
to happy to overlook this one. Just this once, of
course. Right, schedule a Code Seven sweep. Get
back to me when the salvage ships are ready to
do have one request?
one species on the planet thats worth
saving. Theyre called 'kittens', Sir.
whats so special about them?
they make great pets, are quite intelligent, keep
themselves very clean, eat only when theyre
hungry, are easily domesticated yet can still
survive in the wild, and, well, theyre
Like baby Xibillin Sir, but cuter.
in the universe is cuter than baby Xibillin.
think Ive found something cuter. Trust me
on this one.
Save the kittens. Bring me one. Destroy
target. How about this one, Zeragan II?
thats more encouraging