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When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth
by Nick Allen

Scene – An ancient landscape circa 65 million years BC

Rex: So how many O’ Levels did your little Ty get?

Bronte: What the heck are you on about? What’s an O’ Level?

Rex: Precisely!! There isn’t any such thing is there? We’ve been around for 165 million years and what have we got to show for it – bugger all! No art, no technology, no great buildings to be proud of.

Bronte: I don’t know what you’re worrying about – we rule the earth!

Rex: Mmm, I’m not really sure we so much ‘rule’ it as, well, inhabit it. I mean, are you really master of all you survey? I know you eat lots of grass, but I’m not convinced that counts.

Bronte: But look at how big we are!

Rex: Yes, but what about our brains? They're as small as... here we go, we haven’t invented any kind of measurements so I can’t say.

Bronte: As small as a small rock?

Rex: Not the finest simile I’ve ever heard, Bronte. Doesn’t that tell you something?

Bronte: That I’m thick?

Rex: Not just you, but all of us! I’m no expert, but I’d say that any half-decent phylum would manage to produce a radio signal within 5 million years of evolving.

Bronte: What’s a ‘radio signal’?

Rex: No idea – we’ve never invented one have we?

Bronte: And a ‘phylum’?

Rex: Something not dissimilar to the periodic table. In-as-much as it’s something else we never ever thought of.

Bronte: What are you suggesting?

Rex: Well why don’t we, as a species, get our act together and try evolving a bit.

Bronte: You mean the opposable thumb thing again? Is that what this has all been about, you and your bloody opposable thumb obsession?

Rex: Okay, I know I go on about it, but I’m sure it’s a good idea. If we’d ever come up with the concept of a ‘Patent Office’, I’d be down there like a shot!

Bronte: Wha...?

Rex: Look, all I’m asking is we try. We could be great one day with philosophers and teachers and academics showing us the way to a better world.

Bronte: You know, I think you have something Rex. Let’s become better, let’s build a society to be proud of, let’s strive to be great! You know I think we should start by giving names to things. Rex, you’re smart – what would you call that huge mass of fire streaking across the sky?

Rex: Ha ha, I like games like this. How about we call it either a ‘Meteorite’ or a ‘Fluffy Ball’. You choose.

Bronte: Good options Rex, let me think...