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The Collection
by Sam Mosley

Confident in her skin?

Doesn’t do it.

Micha was the Jedi warrior of womanhood. Were it possible to mix the best of Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Scarlet Johannson, you would be getting close; The rich man’s world was her oyster, pearls and all.

Micha had pleasured many world leaders, sportsmen and entertainers. She would say they were all the same; rich.

Not yet 30, Micha was considerably wealthy. She had done very well from the male population; the population she had grown to hate. Bored with her life of partying and schmooze, she searched for new interests and discovered a new passion - extreme necktie collecting.

Naturally, they were not any old ties, but rare collector’s items. The criteria being, they had to be around some man’s neck. A man whom she would then seduce and strangle with said tie. Before removing the tie, Micha would photograph the latest addition to her catalogue.

Her first victim could not believe his luck. He was wearing his 40-and-still-a-virgin tie when this goddess of beauty beckoned him. Stunned, he remained bashfully at his bar stool. There followed twenty minutes of miming “Me?” accompanied by tentative glances over the shoulder.

Finally, Micha marched across the bar, grabbed him by the tie and dragged him off to her room.

Victim no 1 was too easy. Not knowing what to expect, he thought being strangled was part of the norm, his final spluttered words being “I can’t see what all the fuss is about!”

Victim No. 2 was a different bag.

Micha had set her heart on the tie bestowed upon the President of the Nudists' Society. The sporting element being that not only was there one of this distinguished accessory in circulation at any one time, but also it appeared just once a year at the naked ones A.G.M.

Micha’s sudden naked appearance at the AGM stirred up varying emotions, none more so than with the President; raising a point of order, he declared the meeting over, and would the new member see him a.s.a.p for her medical.

Incidentally, his dying words were ‘Don’t let me die, wearing a tie’ to which Micha added a catchy melody and enjoyed a minor hit.

Anyhow, it was quite surprising how the odd tie here and there soon built to a worthy collection. Her tide of naked, tie wearing corpses, lovingly photographed, was her joy. Typically, to obtain total satisfaction she needed to share her prized collection.

And that’s how the 10 photographs of her victims appeared on Ebay.

Consequently a bidding war raged, which only curtailed when the Police withdrew their bid as it was pointed out to them that the corpse were all male and this was blatantly Politically Incorrect.

Stung into action, the police dispatched 2 of their top Pc Pcs.

The police eventually became curious as to the delayed return of the arresting officers. The pair of them were later discovered in Micha’s deserted flat; quite dead and wearing nothing but handcuffs.

Meanwhile as Micha settled down on her business class flight, she returned a demure smile to the chap whose pickled features matched his tie. Her attention locked on its emblazoned insignia “The 17th Earl Of Bishop Burton”.

Oh, that’s a must have.