The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Satan's Apprentice
by Nick Allen

Three figures are sitting behind a large desk. A young man sits in the chair before them.

The Devil: Tell me Kevin, what makes you think you’ll be a good Agent of Satan?

Kevin: Oh, I’ve been interested in Evil for as long as I can remember Sir.

The Devil: Let me see, how old are you? 16?! Have you ever actually done anything evil?

Kevin: I’m quite mean to my sister sometimes.

The Devil: Bugger me. We’re just not getting the quality applicants...

The Grim Reaper: Done much reaping?

Kevin: I mow the lawn for me mum.

The Grim Reaper: Great, just great... We’re looking for Satanists, not bloody horticulturists!

Horseman: There’s no need for that, the lads only trying his best. Look son, are you responsible for any apocalypses?

The Grim Reaper: It’s “apocalypsii” isn’t it?

Horseman: Jesus Christ do I have to... Oh sorry boss, I was err... being ironic?

The Devil: Whatever. Look Kevin, what can you bring to this team – apart of course from the acne and greasy hair?

Horseman: Ha ha, good one boss. In fact he looks overqualified to me!

The Grim Reaper: Yeah, if you don’t get in here lad, try Gargoyle School.

The Devil: Ok you two! Kevin, can you give me one good reason why I should take you on?

Kevin: I like toast?

The Grim Reaper: Ah, we’re getting somewhere now. Cooked on a three pronged fork I trust? Had much experience with red hot pokers have you lad?

Kevin: The plant?

The Grim Reaper: Good God. Sorry boss...

The Devil: An easy one for you now Kevin, do you know anything about fire or brimstone?

Kevin: I dropped out of chemistry and physics. I took Media Studies instead.

The Devil: This isn’t looking good is it? But to be honest Kevin, there are some vacancies we are struggling to fill. I know, do you like Alice Cooper?!

Kevin: I think I’ve heard of her but...

The Devil: NEXT!!