by Nick Allen
figures are sitting behind a large desk. A young
man sits in the chair before them.
Devil: Tell me Kevin, what makes you
think youll be a good Agent of Satan?
Oh, Ive been interested in Evil for as long
as I can remember Sir.
Devil: Let me see, how old are you? 16?!
Have you ever actually done anything evil?
Im quite mean to my sister sometimes.
Devil: Bugger me. Were just not
getting the quality applicants...
Grim Reaper: Done much reaping?
I mow the lawn for me mum.
Grim Reaper: Great, just great...
Were looking for Satanists, not bloody
Theres no need for that, the lads
only trying his best. Look son, are you
responsible for any apocalypses?
Grim Reaper: Its
apocalypsii isnt it?
Jesus Christ do I have to... Oh sorry
boss, I was err... being ironic?
Devil: Whatever. Look Kevin, what can
you bring to this team apart of course
from the acne and greasy hair?
Ha ha, good one boss. In fact he looks
overqualified to me!
Grim Reaper: Yeah, if you dont get
in here lad, try Gargoyle School.
Devil: Ok you two! Kevin, can you give
me one good reason why I should take you on?
I like toast?
Grim Reaper: Ah, were getting
somewhere now. Cooked on a three pronged fork I
trust? Had much experience with red hot pokers
have you lad?
Grim Reaper: Good God. Sorry boss...
Devil: An easy one for you now Kevin, do
you know anything about fire or brimstone?
I dropped out of chemistry and physics. I took
Media Studies instead.
Devil: This isnt looking good is
it? But to be honest Kevin, there are some
vacancies we are struggling to fill. I know, do
you like Alice Cooper?!
I think Ive heard of her but...