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Raising the Dead
by Nick Allen

Dark clouds were swept along the night sky while lightning illuminated the blackness with flashes of pure white.

Dr Mortis surveyed the spectacle from the skylight in his attic laboratory and rubbed his hands in glee.

“Are you ready Igor? Igor, Igor, where the hell are you?”

Igor, a man uglier than most, emerged from a side room wearing a pink bath robe.

“Sorry Master, I’ve used the last of the hot water...”

“What the f… Igor what are you playing at? Tonight’s the night for God’s sake! Get some bloody clothes on. Remember, tonight our creature will live! And it’ll be a damn sight better than his down the road.”

“What Frankenstein’s? You don’t like him do you Doc?”

“Well can you blame me? Always harping on how great his supposed ‘creature’ is. I’ll tell you something about that monstrosity, it’s no flaming oil painting. And talk about thick, I think it’s got brains made of mashed potato or something. If we can’t beat that with our beauty then I’m not a twisted genius.”

Igor’s smirk was countered with a clout to the head.

“That was a joke face-ache. Now get a move on, Lilly is coming up for the big switch-on.”

“Ah, Mrs Mortis. She wont be too pleased if we don’t get that thing going will she? She wasn’t that pleased when the Frankenstein’s got a bigger horse than you, if I remember rightly.”

“That has got bugger all to do with you. Now come here and help with these electrodes, this thing won’t start itself you know.”

Igor pulled wires from a box and began fixing them to the cadaver before him.

“I had a bleedin’ date tonight, a really hot chick if you must know. That’s why I was bathing. Yet look at me now...”

“A date?” the Doctor sputtered. “Who with? Medusa again? Gawd help us if your union is ever blessed with little ones, mate. We’ll have to get the local vet on stand-by. Well that or pest control!”

“Perhaps you're right,” conceded Igor laughing at the image.

Thunder cracked like never before and the two of them looked skywards.

“Raise the lightning rod Igor, the time is nigh.”

As Igor cranked the huge wheel, Lilly Mortis entered the laboratory and made her way to the creature.

“Is everything as we discussed?” asked Lilly, looking down at the inert man on the slab.

“Oh yes, sweet-pea all ready now.”

Lilly lifted the sheet covering its middle and glared at the Doctor.

“Is that the best one you could find?”

They don’t make diamonds as big as bricks you know, my little pumpkin-pie.”

“No, and they didn’t make yours much bigger than a diamond did they?”

“Shhh, Igor can hear. Anyway it’s time now.” The Doctor raised his voice. “Are you ready Igor?

“Yes Master.”

“Well as long as his works eh,” said Lilly, a scowl crawling across her face.

The Doctor looked his wife up and down - and strongly suspected it wouldn’t.