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Old Mickey Fillet
by Amanda Reynolds

I like to think that I’m good at my job and work hard for a living stuffing dead insects and mounting them in rather beautiful show cases. I live on my own and am usually up to no good, tell lies and cause all sorts of trouble, yes, I'm a bit of a joker really. If you know of any rare or brightly coloured insects that you could tell me about I’d be very grateful, I’m always on the look out for something out of the ordinary.

In my shed I make friends out of wood, I talk to them and feed them on orange peel and currant biscuits, I can rely on them to keep a secret, they never let me down or do nasty things behind my back. Me and my friends sometimes go out for a meal together, we go to our favourite pub, it’s all very cosy.

Recently I have been considering taking on an assistant to help me with some new projects that I am about to start, the applicant must be keen and not be afraid of getting a bit mucky, I can't give away any more than that or it would spoil the element of surprise.

On a Tuesday I wear a pale lemon frock and purple sling back sandals, I have a nice selection of hair clips and jewelry to choose from, I feel that I’m a lucky person and wouldn't want to change a single thing.

My best friend's name is Shirley, he rides a yellow motor bike and sometimes lets me on the back. Shirley and me go clothes shopping together, we are both very fashion conscious people, as I don’t take money out with me when I go shopping, Shirley always pays.

I used to have a very pleasant girl friend, we lived together for a few years but I was very inconsiderate and vile mannered towards her. Eventually it all came to a head and she had me moved into the loft, she persuaded me that this was the best thing for all concerned and that the roof area was by far the most comfortable part to inhabit.

Shortly after I’d settled in she had a dangerously narrow metal stair case built onto the outside of the building, it was only a foot wide and had no support railings, I thought at the time what a very kind gesture this was on her part.

I’ve only ever had two accidents on it to date, the first one I fell straight down onto the paving slabs below (quite lucky really) and the other involved my hair getting caught on one of the steps as I tripped and rolled down, I was suspended there for an hour and a half. Still, no harm done.

The whole set up is very convenient for her as she never has to see my face again. I listen to her shrieking and giggling down stairs with her friends, they know I am ‘not quite right’ and so, take full advantage of the situation, I am so lucky to have such wonderful people around me!