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M & M
by Donna Amato

"Psssst…Reggie. Is it safe yet?"

"No, the security guard is still checking out panties in Women's Lingerie."

"I don't care, I'm moving," said Dorothy. "I've been bending over this camping equipment all day, my back is killing me."

Straightening up, she stretched, kicked the fake plastic camp fire out of the way, and moved to stand next to Reggie. Smiling, she placed her hand on his backside and posed.

"You'll get us caught," whispered Reggie, not moving from his position.

"So what? What could they possibly do to our plastic bodies that would be more undignified?" asked Dorothy. "Get down from there and let's have some fun."

"You're idea of fun is always trouble."

They heard the guard whistling, the sound disappearing as he entered the elevator and the doors closed.

"Are you happy now?" asked Dorothy.

Reggie climbed down from the platform and followed her to Women's Clothing. He watched Dorothy stop in front of the full length mirror, turn to the side and look at her reflection.

"Whoever stuck my head on this body should be shot. Is it too much to ask for decent breasts?"

"Oh great, here we go again," said Reggie.

"Well look at them, they're pathetic. I mean if you're molding plastic what would it hurt to add a little in the chest area, and I won't even mention my derriere. No wonder none of my clothes fit.”

"I'm sick of hearing about it," said Reggie.

"Really, have you looked down the front of your pants? Trust me you won't like what you see. Talk about cruelty."

Reggie's hand flew to his crouch. His eyes grew big as saucers. "Those bastards!"

"Exactly, now let's get busy."

First they stopped at the jewelry counter and switched all the cubic zirconium stuff for real diamonds. They moved through the store pulling price tags off as they went. Checkout would have a ball with that. Finding a price gun they went along and marked down big ticket items to practically nothing. Reggie messed up the special displays while Dorothy went to the bathrooms to clog up the toilets with paper. They had a grand time.

As the sun started to rise they made their way back to the camping display.

"That was great," said Reggie.

"Almost makes up for our lot in life," answered Dorothy, a sad look on her face. She went and took her place bending over the fake campfire.

"Not quite," said Reggie, winking at her.

As Harrods opened and the first customers trickled in, Reggie got down from his platform, spun Dorothy around, bent her over his arm and kissed her cold lips.

"Now maybe we're even," he said, smiling, and put his hand on her pathetic chest and froze in place.