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It Was Martians, I Think?
by David Stillwagon

Martians landed in our back yard. At least I think they were Martians; there was a giant M on the side of their space craft.

Dad went out back to see “WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON.” Mom told my sister and me to go to bed but we ignored her.

Dad walked around the spacecraft and started to scream when he saw that the thing had landed on his forsythia bushes. He planted them when we moved into the house. I think Grandma gave them to him. Now Dad was really pissed. We could see him giving it to them. The way he always gives it to people that pisses him off. We could hear him from inside the house cussing at the guys in space suits.

Next thing we knew, old Mr. Grombuts next door turns on his back light and his dog Rascal starts to bark. Mr. Grombuts leaves his porch and walks over to Dad and the aliens. Mr Grombuts was now swearing up a storm saying GD this and GD that and he even told them to get the MFing thing out of Dad's back yard.

Dad tried to cool down Mr. Grombuts telling him that the space ship was in his back yard and he was the one that was invaded not Mr. Grombuts. Rascal who never stopped barking got out of his pen and ran over to the aliens. The head alien, whose head was a little bigger than the rest, hit Rascal with what looked like a glow stick of some sort. Rascal ran back to the porch. Mr. Grombuts looked like he was going to take a swing at the head alien but he didn't. I guess he thought that he might get hit with the glow stick as well.

The head alien looked like he got out a map and showed it to Dad. Dad was great at giving directions. The other aliens circled around as Dad seemed to point out where they were. The head alien threw his arms in the air and motioned for the others to get back in the space ship. The space ship took off without a sound. Dad and Mr. Grombuts stood and waved as the space ship moved out of sight.