Impeachment
Defense Lawyer Jokes
by Roger Freed
Why won't
white sharks eat impeachment defense lawyers when
they go swimming?
A: They are the same skin color.
B: They are both in the same profession.
C: Trump lawyers leave a rancid aftertaste in
their mouths.
How many impeachment defense lawyers does it take
to win a trial?
Eight:
One to twist the statements made by the
Democratic lawyers, one to come up with a half
truth that seems plausible enough, two to repeat
this half truth incessantly until people believe
it as a full truth, one to besmirch and belittle
any Democrats who are accusing them or offering
testimony, one to lead listeners down another
path away from the main topics, one to chide any
rebuttals to the half-truth and one to report the
days progress to Herr Trump and get his head
patted.
To what religious affiliation do most impeachment
lawyers belong?
To the First Church of the Apostle Judas.
What were impeachment lawyers in their past lives
that gave them such amazing talents in this life?
A. Pinocchio's understudy. B. Caligula's stand in.
C. A scout for Genghis Khan D. Torture machine
inventor for the Inquisition. E. McCarthy's
intern during his anti-Communist campaign F.
Enforcer during the formulation of the caste
system in India. G. Nero's fiddle notes holder.
What after school work did impeachment lawyers do
as teenagers?
A. Castrating bulls with their bare hands. B.
Autopsy waste disposal. C. Fact checking writings
to make sure there WASN”T anything true in
them. D. Trump's golf caddy.
What do impeachment lawyers drink and eat during
their breaks on the impeachment hearings to keep
themselves sharp and combative?
Battery acid, saltpeter, Starbucks Triple
Espresso Latte and raw cow.
Why are environmentalists protesting outside
Congress during the hearings?
Because of the amount of carbons being put into
the atmosphere from all the flatulent hot air
being created there.
Why did Satan create a separate hell for
impeachment defense lawyers?
He didn't want them being a bad influence on the
regular residents.
Why are impeachment defense lawyers forbidden to
give blood transfusions?
Because with out fail the receiver's go into
toxic shock.
How did the impeachment defense lawyer get into
heaven?
He convinced God that killing his wife wasn't
really a crime.
Why will they not bury impeachment lawyers in a
regular cemetery?
The EPA has declared them a toxic substance that
might leak out of the coffin.
What do you do if you are bitten by a impeachment
defense lawyer?
Chase after him and get your arm back.
Why do impeachment lawyers not like to smile?
It exposes their fangs.
Why can't lawyers go shopping at a regular shoe
store?
They don't have anything that fits cloven hoofs.
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