Hubert's Story
by Maranda
Russell
Hubert's
favorite foods are paste and boogers. He spends
every weekend with his Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtle action figures. Hubert is a loser,
but even worse than that, he is a moron. So when
the class bully, Dean, invited Hubert to meet him
in an abandoned warehouse after school for a
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Fan Club meeting,
Hubert actually showed up. Of course, it
wasn't really a fan club meeting going on, it was
an elaborate scheme to torture the weak and
stupid, aka Hubert.
Hubert walked
into the derelict building and stopped short. The
room was crowded by some kind of odd contraption.
Dean approached Hubert and led him further inside.
"How you doing Huby old buddy?" Dean
asked as he shoved Hubert towards the huge
machine dominating the room. Several of Dean's
pals were there and flipped the switch to turn
the machine on. A loud roaring sound filled
the room.
"I don't
like this place." Hubert whimpered.
"Tough
noogies." Dean laughed sarcastically as
he hooked Hubert up to a large claw hanging out
of the machine. "Do you have any idea
what this one of a kind masterpiece is?"
Hubert shook
his head as he tried to wiggle free from the
steel claw that was now hanging onto his shorts.
"I like
to call it my super duper wedgie pull." Dean
explained as he patted the pile of steel
affectionately. Dean pushed a button that started
the claw moving rapidly up and down. Hubert
cried out in agony as he felt his shorts
disappear up his crack again and again. Dean's
buddies brought out a bowl of popcorn and sat
down to watch the show.
The next day,
Hubert had a huge butt rash and couldn't walk.
But maybe he wasn't quite as stupid as before.
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