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Eye Of The Beholder
by John Brooke

“Danny boy I can’t see why you so keen on Elizabeth?” 

“Well Bill she has many hidden qualities that I find attractive.”

“It sure as shoot’n ain’t her eyes, they’re the color of dirty dishwater.

“No it’s definitely not her eyes, but they do have that magical sparkle at times.”

“Dan she seems to be growing a mustache?”

“Oh that’s just a hormonal thing,”

“Is she seeing an orthodontist about those tombstone buck teeth, Ugh!” 

“Yes she is. Now kissing Lizzy can be a problem.”

“Looking at her I can see that.”

“No I mean smooching with her. Sometimes my lips get caught in her braces.”

“Come off it Dan. It can’t be her frizzy moldy hay hair?” 

“No it’s not Lizzy’s crowning glory that I find irresistible.”

“Speaking of hair, how about her armpits? A jungle! Wild furry legs with arms to match!”

“She considers herself a natural woman!”

“Does she have a hairy chest, too — eh?”

“Listen Bill, I think your remarks are getting too far out of line.”

“Take it easy Dan. We’re long time buddies, I’m trying to find the reason why you are so attracted to Elizabeth with her frumpy lumpy body.”

“You know I admire beautiful women. Lizzy sure as heck ain’t drop dead stunning.”

"Defiantly at far end of the beautiful skin deep scale.”

“But I have to tell you Danny old pal she has a seductive form!”

“That’s a joke, right?”

“No dummy, it’s the gorgeous figure on her bank statement!”