Do It Yourself
Future News Headlines
by Roger Freed
If you look at
enough different newspapers enough different
times you find things can be quite similar. The
rags always seem to be re-circulating the same
type of newsworthy cadavers again and again. The
names and the places change, but the content is
cloned. It gets to the point where you can pretty
much predict what the 'new' news will be about
before it even becomes happens. In fact, one
might as well make up his own news- it won't be
that different from the real event! It never
stopped our new Glorious Leader!
Here are some
templates for making your own 'hot off the press'
Just fill in the blanks like you would a
crossword puzzle and change every few days to
keep up with the times:
Donald Trump Tweeted His Disdain Over _________And
What He/She/They Did To _________ Him.
Obama Having a Great Time ________ing On Vacation
In __________ With ________.
_______ Flashes Her ________ In A Revealing
_________. Photos On Page ________.
_______ Says Trump Is An Incredible
________. Trump Says That _______ Is An
Even Bigger ___________.
10 Year Old
Transgender ________ Wants To Be Allowed To
________ Where ___ Wants to.
States That ______ Is A Second Rate _______ And
No One Should Pay Attention To _____. _________Says
The Same For Trump.
Right Wing _____ In _________ Mississippi Chanted
That All ________ Should Be Shipped Back To
Rally To Protest _________ Cuts To Their
__________. State Sends In _______ To _____Order.
Policeman Was Accused Of _______ A ___________
Policeman Acquitted For _______ A ________.
________ Promises To ________ In Only 10 Days.
Republican Meeting In ___________ ____________Demanded
That All _________ Should Be Incarcerated Or
Thrown Out Of Country For ___________.
Ejected ________ From a Meeting Over _________
For Expressing ________. ____ Demands An
__________ And An Apology.
_____ Riot Over ________. Windows Smashed And
To Be Having Improper _______ With A __________.
_____ year old says it was ________ love.
Corporation __________ Takes Over Smaller Company
_______ In Hostile Bid. Moves Operations To
________ And Lays Off _________ Employees.
_________ Violently __________ Girlfriend With A
________. Not Arrested, But Gets A _________.
Dissident __________ In _______ Falls Into
Mysterious Coma. Suspicious ______ Found In His
Select Trump Tweets _______ About _______ Doing
_______. ( repeat this daily using different
names and incidents.)
for Life Of ________ Declares America To Be A
Degenerate ________ That Should Be _________ Into
The Ground For ________.
Terrorists In ________ Killed ______ People In A
Predawn _______ Using A ______ As A ________.
Cabinet Secretary ________ Caught Sharing Secret
Information With _______. _____ Demands An
Dictator Kim Jong Un Threatens To ________
________ Over Allegations Of ________ from