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Bang Bang
by John Brooke

Big Thadeus removed his putty colored, wide brimmed fedora, lit a votive candle and placed it carefully in his namesake Saint’s little shrine. He was dressed in signature style, white chalk-striped black suit with wide lapels and wearing black and white spectators. Thadeus looked every inch the Mobster Kingpin.

He fell to his knees, bowing his head, put his hands together and prayed “Oh Saint Thaddeus, alias Jude, please help me in my hour of desperate need. Dear Jude, Patron Saint of Lost Causes and Hopeless Situations, I pray for your miraculous intervention today, per favore. Amen.”

He blessed himself as a single tear trickled down his cheek, struggled to his feet and slammed on his fedora. He tapped the bulging shoulder holster under his jacket. As he stormed out of his trailer he muttered “Must do my duty. Point of family honor.”

Thadeus waddled between the big buildings to number seven. A security guard opened the door for him. He braced himself and stepped quickly into the set. Right onto his tape marked place. The Director shouted "Time! Mark! Action!"

Carlos, played by Robert De Niro, the mega star, walked onto the set, a mocked up office of the Kingpin. Overcoming his stage fright with divine help of Saint Jude, Thadeus delivered his lines with chilling grace. “Good job, Carlos. You done good. Now, goodbye, we don’t need you no more…” His hand dove into the shoulder holster and pulled out a… banana!

“Cut,” screamed the Director.