Lascivious Look At Our Local Law Library
by Roger Freed
that lawyers are a breed apart. In fact, we
should wonder if they are really even be
considered a part of the human species at all,
especially as evidenced by a peek at these books
found at our local campus law library:
Humanistic Lawyers- A three page book; one of
those being the title page and the other the
Table of Contents.
How To Sue
Anybody For Anything Anytime- A bestseller
Stories- only two volumes and mostly pornographic.
Law Ethics- A
slim volume that is rarely checked out.
Its Implications For Law- Barely read because no
one understands it.
Memories Of Lawyers- Stories of strip clubs and
all night binges.
Literature- So moldy its pages fall apart.
Pornography- The most checked out book at the
Being A Lawyer
For Dummies- The second most checked out book in
Responsibility Of Lawyers- An obsolete volume
being sold used in the book store for 50 cents.
Law- What all the law students secretly read and
dream about but would never admit to.
Power- What Is Wrong With That Anyway?- Always
Getting Rid Of
The Constitution- An Important Step In Maximizing
Our Income And Our Power Over The System-
Considered a modern classic.
and other mythical entities.
Lawyer- A fairy tale.
Spielberg Named The Shark In Jaws After His
Attorney- A rare instance of legal humor.
Monkeys Trial- the day the monkeys won.
How To Get
Your Conscience Out Of The Way Of Your Making
Money- A self help guide for rabid lawyers.
Sizing Up Your
Client- How To Shakedown The Patsy Mentally
Before You Even Take Him On As A Client- A
Out Of The Government (They Are Just A Big
Pushover)- A bestseller.
How To Squeeze
Money Out Of Even The Poorest Of Clients- A
Law; The Fine Art Of Screwing People In Other
Countries In Other Languages For Other Money- A
How To Grind
Someones Balls To Dust Legally- A
Peoples Lives For Fun and Profit- A (need we even
say it?) bestseller.