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A Good Clean Fight
by Roger Freed

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the mixed weight division fight for the championship of the Presidency!" barked the announcer to the rabid crowd in the arena. "On our right," he gestures towards toward a corner, "we have Barack Obama and his sidekick Joe Biden. They put their arms up to the crowd smiling. Obama is clad in a Kenyan dashiki while Biden wears a blue working class shirt and jeans.

"On the other side we have John McCain..." he steps out wearing a red, white and blue outfit resembling both the US flag and Superman, "and Sarah Palin!" Wolf whistles sound as Palin steps forward in a curvacious Wonder Woman outfit that accentuates her figure. Men hoot and howl.

"OK, participants, you know the rules- a good, clean fight." McCain and Plain stay tight while Obama and Biden break up. McCain, falling back on his navy boxing experience, begins throwing fists. Obama assumes a street fighting posture learned from his childhood in South Chicago. McCain connects a punch to Obama's gut, but Obama quickly counters with a roundhouse kick to McCain's head.

Meanwhile Biden and Palin are squaring off, Palin's old 'barracuda' basketball self coming through as she relentlessly lunges at Biden who is not striking back.

"A man isn't suppossed to hit a woman, nor is he suppossed to hit a person with glasses."

Palin whips off her glasses and throws them to the crowd. She yells "I'm from Alaska where men are men and so are women!" and leaps on Biden. Biden grapples and throws her over. After rolling about for a few moments it is noticed that Biden's Levi's have a bulge and that his wrestling moves look more like fondling. Deep throated moans emit from him.

"Oh, you pig!' screams Palin, trying to push him off her.

Biden, his vision blocked by Palin's cleavage, doesn't see her husband Todd charging over the ropes. In a scene reminiscent of the best of WWF wrestling Todd 'First Dude' Palin smashes a folding chair on a writhing, lust imbued  Biden who rolls up in agony in a fetal position.

On the other part of the mat Obama is warding off McCain's jabs with karate style knife blocking. suddenly a yell comes up from the arena's crowd as a mad Dick Cheney, his eyes bugging and as red as a weasel on Red Bull, runs forward priming a rifle and yelling "You're not going to take it away from me!" He levels his sights on Obama. McCain, his Vietnam instincts coming back to him, leaps in front of Obama taking the hit.

The crowd tackles Cheney who is dragged away ranting "I will be Emperor! I will!" Obama kneels down, tears staining his face as he holds McCain.

McCain summons his strength, saying "It is a far better thing I do now than I have ever done before... oh damn, that was stupid as hell!" then passes out as they carry him out.