Everyone Talks...
Eventually
by William P
Adams
The fetid
burlap sack was yanked roughly from the head of
the captured prize, who knew every detail of the
enemy operation. He sucked in the foul air that
permeated the dank cell, and his olfactory sense
was immediately assaulted by the overwhelming
stench of bodily excretions that had accumulated
over the past year in this horrible chamber. His
eyes adjusted to the lightless, windowless, rough-walled,
dirt-floored room, and a boombox, circa 1980s,
sitting on a three-legged stool next to a video
monitor and VHS machine from the same era
materialized before him. He had an inkling of
what was in store, dug down and summoned every
ounce of inner strength, and prayed his years of
training would come to the fore.
Virgil, Enhanced Interrogation Specialist #1, and
Lou, Enhanced Interrogation Specialist #2, were
in the adjoining ready area, preparing the tools
of persuasion. #1 laid out the plans for their
guest in the next room.
“We’ll start with side two of the live
Plastic Ono Band album. You know, Yoko’s
seventeen minutes of soothing, vocalized ear
candy. Let’s give it four hours to start
– if need be, we have It’s a Small
World and Afternoon Delight in reserve.”
#2 shudders.
“I hope it doesn’t get that far…
If it does, I have the videotape ready –
every episode of Hello Larry, and My Mother the
Car. Also, something I’ve been toying with
– it tested well with the control group last
week.”
“I doubt we’ll need your new device,
but have it ready – this one may turn out to
be a tough nut to crack open.”
*************************************
Eight hours of
high-volume audio assault and eight more of mind-numbing
network programming later, the captive was
visibly worn down and seemed ready to talk during
some of the more egregious sections of the
recorded media, but somehow, was able to
withstand the onslaught of agonizing torment that
no other enemy combatant had previously endured.
“This one just won’t break, Lou… I’ve
never seen anything like it before. His training
must be of an off-the-chart, elite, top-secret
level.”
“We still have my Ace-in-the-Hole, Virg. Let
me try before we call it a night and hit Denny’s
for a Grand Slam breakfast.”
“Your call. I’ll wait here outside
– I may not have the stomach for this.”
Not long after Enhanced Interrogation Specialist
#2 entered the workroom with the untried, likely
last resort method, he returned to the ready area
smiling.”
“Well, success?”
“Got everything recorded on my phone…
the guy sang like a canary after twenty minutes
of being forced to watch the tape.”
“Yeah? Clue me in on our new sure-fire,
effective interrogation method.”
“That Leaf-Gard Gutter television commercial,
played on a loop. I had the earplugs in.”
“Nice work, Lou.”
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