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The Saga of Guffaw the Lighthearted—An Abbreviated History of Standup Comedy
by Bob Iozzia

Zak, the God of Dirt, in the guise of a pumpkin gourd, seduces mortal farmer's daughter Leadesmerelda. Two days after the seduction, a child is born to Leadesmerelda—Guffaw, the future inventor of standup comedy.
6-week-old Guffaw is a fully formed young man with innate skills of sarcasm and joke structure.
At a funeral pyre for a jerk, Guffaw cracks mean jokes about the deceased, creating the first comedy roast.
As a result of his success at the funeral, Guffaw's insult patter is in demand. His second appearance is at a beheading.
With two boffo shows under his sash, Guffaw books his first paid gig at the Palace of the Lesser Known Gods. Onk the Rat Juggler, opening act at Guffaw's Palace gig, is executed mid-act—the first case of dying on stage. Also during Guffaw's Palace act, the tribal chief laughs to death—the first incident of a comedian killing an audience.
Guffaw books a worldwide tour, which in those days encompassed only four villages within walking distance. He reserves a sleeping shelf in a hostel, which back then was called a hostile because of raucous clientele.
Guffaw's first show, at Hecklahr's Hill Hole, initially confuses the audience, who have never witnessed comedy. During Guffaw's set, rude Hill Hole owner Hecklahr and staff yell insults, eventually known as heckling. Guffaw wins over audience when he silences hecklahrs with the very first utterance of ‘Your Mamma’ sex slams.
After his set, Guffaw is entertained backstage by world's first groupies, who call themselves the Mudcasters.
Guffaw's next gig is at Carnage College as opening act to philosopher/stripper Socratease. Carnage College audience howls at Guffaw's jokes about latest youth trend—getting literally stoned.
Socratease refuses to follow Guffaw's wildly successful set, claiming a pastie malfunction. Guffaw's stardom is born when he goes on for Socratease as Socratease, with wine bladders for breasts.
After Carnage College show, Guffaw is visited by Yuk, the God of Humor, in the guise of a whoopi cushion. Guffaw sits on whoopi cushion God of Humor, who farts a warning to beware of joke thieves.
In audience at next gig, Guffaw spots two men with stone tablets & chisels, apparently recording his jokes. Guffaw confronts the chiselers, who identify themselves as novelty acrobats Plagiarism & Poach. Hoping to rattle him during his act, joke stealers Plagiarism & Poach pelt Guffaw with blueberries.
Blueberry-stained but unfazed Guffaw peppers his set with obscenities directed at Plagiarism & Poach. Audience enthusiastically cheers blueberry-stained Guffaw's raw set—first time a comic works blue.
God of Humor, now in the guise of a pile of bull excrement, scolds Guffaw for seemingly becoming too big for his toga. Guffaw: "Bullshit."
And the rest of standup’s history you all know.