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The Rabble-rousing Tower
by Albert Russo

Among the the 600-odd commandments that followed the first TEN ole’ Moses brought down from Mount Sinai, there is one that tells you not to be arrogant and another one not to lie. Well, dear Goddess, Thou art not showing the good example, so why doth Thou expect Thy subjects / slaves to do unto others what Thou do unto them? Something doesn’t square in Thy equation, that’s for sure.

Some city dudes had the fantastic project of building the highest tower that ever existed - coz by now quite a few towns dotted our planet, especially in the pharaonic Egyptian and the Meso-hipoppotamian areas, which is where Irak and Syria lie nowadays in a sorry state of decomposition. They believed by erecting it, that they would become the masters of the world. This is called delusions of grandeur.

The moment Goddess realized that She was being challenged on her own turf, She blew her top. You should have seen the lightnings and the racket She spread all over the place, with fires erupting in all the surrounding forests and even in the villages that lay at the foot of the now almost completed tower.

“Hey, Goddess Almighty, were you dozing off all the while they were erecting it? Couldn’t You have nixed their project at the very beginning, acting in a more civilized manner, instead of always flying into your head-splitting and skullduggering fits of rage - ouch ouch ouch, I have a terrible migraine, just thinking about them dudes you scared so shitless. Ok, this ain’t an expreshun from Shake’ m Pears (or is it?), but it’s true that when people get frightened to that point, they poo poo in their pants. Now, who invented that reaction? Thou, Thou, always Thou! So, bear the consequences. Then too, who taught humans to defend themselves using an eye for an eye? What barbaric methods you showed them!

Here the Indians and the Japanese could give You a lesson of sweet revenge when they perform Yoga or JiuJitsu. You oughta be ashamed for propagating such tactics, is what I says, inasmuch as the Islamic terrorists of our century have remembered them and they cut their innocent victims into pieces like they were some mutton to be grilled for the A?d al-Kab?r, in commemoration of the sacrifice of Abraham, which takes place at the end of the Ramadan to end the month-long fast. Wa, you oughta see some of my Muslim class mates. Poor things, they loll out their parched tongues to avoid suffocating, and don’t dare look you in the face, on account that you might be knocked out pronto presto and lie on the ground before you knew what happened to you.

Now dear Goddess, what kind of advice did you give your hubby the Great Allah, with Muhammad, being His PR, to force our Muslim sistern and brethren to refrain from eating normally for thirty or more friggin’ days? Was that another missing patch of Your puzzle?