The Mouse Vote
by Bill Tope
The newspapers lately have
been filled with personal endorsements from
concerned citizens regarding the upcoming local
elections. After a while they all sound the same:
"I've known Candidate X for seventy-five
years, he's an Eagle, a Rotarian, helps little
old ladies, across the street; blah, blah, blah."
This got me to thinking, which is always
dangerous.
When I was a student in
college, I once served as election commissioner
for the student government elections. In
addition to those "official" candidates
who had their names printed on the ballot, there
was provision for write-in candidates. I found
during that election and, indeed, in practically
every subsequent student election, that Mickey
Mouse was far and away the name most written in
on the ballots. Remembering this gave me an
idea.
What if a majority of the
voters in the upcoming election wrote in Mickey
Mouse in lieu of a "regular" candidate?
In the first place, it would relieve the tension
between the various "straight"
candidates who are scrambling for votes and
fighting tooth and nail for each one. There would
be no resultant hard feeling over election
results if every human being lost; who could hate
a cartoon mouse?
Secondly, just imagine the
prosperity imminent, should the Disney
Corporation take over local government. Politics
is already a circus; let it become a theme park.
And with lucrative Disney--the brains behind the
hapless rodent--in control, there would be
balloons, Snow White dancing down Main Street,
candy, party favors, clowns on horseback, you
name it; the sky's the limit. And the local
police could patrol the streets in those spinning
cups we've all seen on TV.
And finally, there would be
a $165 per person "entry fee" for any
non-resident who crosses the city's borders.
And street venders could sell Cokes for $10 a pop.
Forget speed traps, we'll have the dough just
flowing in. Imagine the opulence, imagine
the notoriety. Just imagine!
Originally
published by the (Alton, Illinois) Telegraph.
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