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The Last Push
by Albert Russo

Delilah presented her beau with a huge and finely chiselled silver cup, the size of a demijohn, containing the strongest potion she had ever concocted. Samson, the swashbuckler that he was, never shy of challenges, soon slipped out of her arms and fell into such a deep sleep that he wouldn’t have budged even if an earthquake had swallowed him into the entrails of a volcano. She took advantage of the situation and cut his long mane with a blade used to shear the wool of a fat adult sheep.

When the beau woke up - he now looked more like straggled pussycat with the stupidest haircut you had ever seen - Delilah must have failed her hairdresser exams repeatedly, shame on her! She was supposed to be a lady of taste, but in this case, she goofed up miserably. But , low, very low and bee bee hold, she got what she wanted: Samson behaved like a little boy and started shadow-boxing, making all kinds of gestures, cleaving the air, to no avail. All his former strength had vanished; flabbyghosted and utterly dejected, he asked Goddess why She had abandoned him.

“You have failed me, son of a donkey”, she retorted, “you will now have to pay for your sins.”

Samson began to weep like a cry baby when the Philistine soldiers got hold of him; they threw the poor devil into prison. He shared a stinking cell with hungry rats and other critters that rode over him at night, biting chunks of his flesh. After many months they released him and brought him in front of a priest who mocked him under the jeers and gleeful stares of the guards.

“Oh mighty lion killer, show us if you can break free from your chains;” laughed the priest. Everybody in the hall started giggling.

What people hadn’t noticed was that during the long months in prison, Samson’s hair had grown back to its former length.

Even though he had lost a lot of weight and he no longer had the figure of a hunk, not to mention his bruised skin and the wounds inflicted by the rats, Samson flew into a rage and roared like a tiger suddenly bouncing back on its paws that regained its vim.

He jumped up and down and sprang to where the huge pillars stood, whispering:

“Goddess, I deserve your wrath, but let me use that great strength you endowed me with for the last time. I want to show these Philistines who the real Mistress of the universe is.”

The young man pushed against the two pillars with a superhuman force, until they fell into pieces. A pandemonium ensued and the great temple of the heathen crashed to the ground, killing thousands of those who had enslaved his people for so many years. Unfortunately, the once handsome hunk died with his enemies.