The Last Push
by Albert Russo
Delilah presented her beau
with a huge and finely chiselled silver cup, the
size of a demijohn, containing the strongest
potion she had ever concocted. Samson, the
swashbuckler that he was, never shy of challenges,
soon slipped out of her arms and fell into such a
deep sleep that he wouldn’t have budged even
if an earthquake had swallowed him into the
entrails of a volcano. She took advantage of the
situation and cut his long mane with a blade used
to shear the wool of a fat adult sheep.
When the beau woke up - he
now looked more like straggled pussycat with the
stupidest haircut you had ever seen - Delilah
must have failed her hairdresser exams repeatedly,
shame on her! She was supposed to be a lady of
taste, but in this case, she goofed up miserably.
But , low, very low and bee bee hold,
she got what she wanted: Samson behaved like a
little boy and started shadow-boxing, making all
kinds of gestures, cleaving the air, to no avail.
All his former strength had vanished; flabbyghosted
and utterly dejected, he asked Goddess why She
had abandoned him.
“You have failed me,
son of a donkey”, she retorted, “you
will now have to pay for your sins.”
Samson began to weep like a
cry baby when the Philistine soldiers got hold of
him; they threw the poor devil into prison. He
shared a stinking cell with hungry rats and other
critters that rode over him at night, biting
chunks of his flesh. After many months they
released him and brought him in front of a priest
who mocked him under the jeers and gleeful stares
of the guards.
“Oh mighty lion killer,
show us if you can break free from your chains;”
laughed the priest. Everybody in the hall started
giggling.
What people hadn’t
noticed was that during the long months in prison,
Samson’s hair had grown back to its former
length.
Even though he had lost a
lot of weight and he no longer had the figure of
a hunk, not to mention his bruised skin and the
wounds inflicted by the rats, Samson flew into a
rage and roared like a tiger suddenly bouncing
back on its paws that regained its vim.
He jumped up and down and
sprang to where the huge pillars stood,
whispering:
“Goddess, I deserve
your wrath, but let me use that great strength
you endowed me with for the last time. I want to
show these Philistines who the real Mistress of
the universe is.”
The young man pushed
against the two pillars with a superhuman force,
until they fell into pieces. A pandemonium ensued
and the great temple of the heathen crashed to
the ground, killing thousands of those who had
enslaved his people for so many years.
Unfortunately, the once handsome hunk died with
his enemies.
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