The Great
Destruc-stress
by Albert Russo
Now let’s move on to
the next disaster: the Great Flood, which was the
first ever Goddess-induced Tsunami. So, in her
Holy Wrath, seeing that she had been neglected,
rejected then forgotten by Her ungrateful people,
Goddess decided to wipe out, like Herr Hitler did
with Her Chosen Folk in the twentieth century AD,
the existing human population, except for old
Noah and his lil family. She even growled that
She was sorry She ever created humans on account
that they could be so corrupt and so violent.
Whoooom did they imitate, fer cryin’ out
loud? Korrupt like Krap!
“Now, Your Sanc-titties
- I saw at the Louvre the figurine of a Misshyppopotamian
goddess, who had many more titties than a cow.
Lady Goddess, oh Emperess of all the black holes
hovering over our poor lil heads, ready to
swallow us live - yes I’m talking to Thee
again, oh Very Gracious Mistress of the You
Me-Verse—, if Thou art so mighty, so omniscientific,
and so ominously knowledgable, how come You didn’t
foresee all of this, since you supposedly made
Lilith and Eve to Your image. Your Cranktity,
you have them at your beck and call; you gave
them a precocious birth and they came out full of
defects and ugly warts. Did I say that before?
Goood, coz one cannot accept this kinda stuff
coming from Our Crafts & Arts Mentoress.
This I call sheer devilishly unfinished business.
And You are surprised why so many people nowadays
believe You are a figment of some holy trashination.”
Yeah, she also dumped every
animal she had created; jeezettte what did they
do to deserve this? She repeated that shtick when
She snuffed out the dinosaurs much later. She
must have atishooed and farted with the force of
a thousand nuclear bombs, they disappeared so
fast. Here is another ass-side for you
curious, admirable geeks. Remember Brigitte
Bardot, France’s sex symbol in the times of
my grandparents? She’s still with us, but
you wouldn’t recognize her, coz she chose to
look like a fat seal, a species she is known to
protect with all her soul? Well, she gave up her
film career in which her boobs got booby-trapped,
in order to dedicate her life to our non-human
cousins, and decided to turn her back to society,
so much so, that she now prefers hogs to her own
son. I wouldn’t dare go near her, coz
nowadays she prefers to walk barefoot in pigsties
- she insists on being natural at all cost and
stink - whereas before she used to dance without
ballet pumps but smelled of Channel Nr 5. Who
told you I have no respect for her? I consider
her a role model of manimalesque
etiquette and cohabitation, something our Goddess
neglected eons ago, too busy that She is
fostering wars left, right and center, like She
is playing video games.
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