King Solomon and
Queen Sheba
by Albert Russo
Some politicians end up
believing that Evil is right and god-given, like
them Ayatollas of Iran who, after killing
innocent people and promising more mayhem, thank
the Almighty, by chanting with their broken
voices ‘Allahu Akbar’.
Now I must tell you what I’ve
learned sfars one of the richest, most
beautiful and intelligent felinists of
antiquity is concerned. She came from Africa, and
preciselier, from Ethiopia. Her name was
the Queen of Sheba. She had heard a lot about
King Salomon, on account that he had the
reputation of being the most powerful, wealthiest
and wise leader of the whole of the Middle East.
So, without waiting to be
invited, she set out for Jerusalem with a huge
caravan of camels loaded with tons of spices,
gold and precious stones. The journey took months
and it could be awfully hot, specially in the
desert, but she always had maidens to prepare
rose-scented baths in goat milk - they used dried
petals and clove - so that the queen could get
rid of the dust and the smell of camel dung.
Eventually the caravan
reached Jerusalem and entered King Solomon’s
palace.
Bing bang boomed
then marshmellowed by the beauty of his
host, the king felt the ground shift under his
knees. Not wanting to look ri-di-cu-lous-ly
awestruck, he soon regained his poise and gave
her a royal welcome, exchanging expensive gifts
and perfumes.
Not to be outdone, the
queen of Sheba who was a clever cookie, began to
test the king with a number of riddles, like:
What’s the most
certain thing in the world, and the most
uncertain?
The king replied: “Death
is the most certain thing in the world, and the
most uncertain is our share in the world to come.”
Yeah, right, the rich don’t share their
palaces with hobos, except in fairy tales, and
only when the poor lassie is the prettiest thing
a prince has ever seen.
How can you tell who is
the boy and who is the girl in this image of a
look-alike pair?
Solomon replied that the
girl would catch the apple in the lap of her
dress. That’s an easy one, is what I say.
How can you tell the
difference between the real flower from an
identical artificial flower?
“The bee will go only
to the real flower.” answered the king.
Clever guy, I wouldn’t have thought of this.
And so forth and ten gongs
… Apparently the king who, I repeat, was a
gorgeous hunk, had all the correct answers, and
the queen of Sheba would have won today the title
of Miss Universe, was seduced by him, totally
besotted (in shake’em pears talk), so much
so that Sheba, who didn’t want to share his
lover’s kingdom, decided to return to her
country, with all the presents he had showered
her with - oh I like that expreshun, it’s
like hundreds of gold coins, diamonds and pearls
raining on you … jeezette!
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