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Shrinking ... shrunk!
by Albert Russo

At the refuge where Haniya stays, we met two guys just a year or so older than me, maybe a lil more. Ishmael and Immanuel are both gorgeous looking, and they’re already so tall.

At first, I didn’t know which one to choose as my future boyfriend, coz since we don’t know how long we will be staying in this country, I might as well have a beau, specially that here the beaux (French for handsome) are stunning, young or not so young. For, as we all know, guys never reach our feline maturity, even when they become adults - just look at my prissy and often di-scam-bubble-lated Unky Berky. As for that swashbuckler of a father I have, he wants zilch minus minus parental responsibility and prefers to gallivant with them half-sized naked female Amazonian head-shrinkers, who wear wishbones across their nose and their tits, while their hubbies, shameless husses that they are, appear with their thing-a-magigs swaying like tinkle bells, for all and sundry to watch - it’s called virility; I say never-you-mindy-looky-the-other-way, coz it’s not only lew-di-crass but sooo ugly - except that you don’t hear anything, unless they start peeing, which they do in front of everybody, on account that they consider it as natural as eating or hunting; the louder and the farther they aim, the prouder they are. What shmucks! And washmore, they enjoy peeing in concert with their friends, like it’s a competition. They call it a society game, the way we (my uncle and I) play checkers, dominos, or Monopoly.

You can even find photos and documentaries about them on Youtube. I know what you are going to do, bunch of sex maniacs: swipe the images to enlarge the goddess forbidden parts. Who’s the inverta-brat here?

Ah, so you think I’m inventing this stuff? Before calling me an inverta-brat liar, go to google-amazoo and search for American-Indian tribes, under Ass-techs and Ink-ass. They were supposed to be a highly civilized bunch, building whole cities in stones and marble, with pyramids like in ancient Egypt, sofistickle observatories, deep-hole crystal lavatories, and other knick knacks of the third type. They also had a game in which the winner would chop off the head of all the losers behind him and throw them as far as possible over a net like they were handballs. How civilized is that?

The world is full of strange customs. In China and Japan, they shrink trees - bonzai -, in the Amazoo they shrink heads, whislt in England Lewis Carroll sent Alice tumbling down into a rabbithole where she suddenly became so large that she almost drowned in a sea of tears, coming face to face - rather toe (hers) to face (theirs) - with a population of nano midgets the size of a thumb. But Lewis Carroll took pity on her and resized the lassie to her original self.