Ruthie
by Albert Russo
Don’t ask why, but
these things often happen in them olden times.
The only people who survived an umpteenth
massacre were two women, an old lady, skin and
bones and stinking of bad breath and her daughter-in-law
Ruth - ‘ruthless’ must come from that
lassie.
It’s unbelievable and
totally unconscious, how often Jews got
killed or almost wiped out in the last thousands
of years, as if because they are often the
smartest geeks, they offend the stupid majority
of the Western world, along with the Islamists.
And the brainless of today want to do the same
thing, only now, it’s the turn of the
Israelis to pound ruthlessly and fight these
blood-thirsty gooks in preventive attacks.
Enough already, do you hear?
Yeah, I am warning you too, my good readers. If
ever anyone of you tries to even think of killing
other Jews, you’ll be surprised at what is
coming to you. Oh, am I being insistent? I advise
you to go join the monkeys, or even better the
mighty gorillas. They’re my friends and you
might learn a thing or two from them. So stop
offending our cousins by calling your enemies
monkeys, ok. That’s what Jews are called in
the Kuran, besides being pigs. Well, well, well,
how clever the goon was who wrote that in them
unholy pages! He probably thought that he himself
was a boorish boar.
These two women were
Moabites - it’s a tribe - and Naomi, the old
hag, said to her daughter-in-law:
“Leave me here, for I
have no more strength. Your are still very young.
You must go to Israel, find work and search for a
nice strong husband who can look after you and
start a family.”
“Noooo way!”
burped Ruthie, “you will come with me, even
if Goddess didn’t save your poor husband and
your son, my dear husband, and abandoned you.”
As soon as they reached the
land of Israel, the two joined other field
workers to gather grain. That field belonged to
Boaz, a wealthy relative of Naomi. He was so
impressed by the young girl’s protective
attitude towards her mother-in-law, laboring so
hard and caring for her needs, that he told the
pretty widow:
“Ask me whatever you
wish, and I’ll give it to you.”
“Well, huh, huh, woah”,
stuttered Ruthie, “dear… huh …
dear … Naomi thought you might be a good
husband to me and thinks that we should get
married asap.”
In them methusalemish
days, young people had no choice. They had to do
what their parents commanded them to do. In this
case, however, Ruthie liked the hunk who owned
the field, and that he was stone-rich - before
his plot of land could be tilled, it was strewn
with boulders and rocks that had to be crushed
into smithereens and then discarded in order for
grains to be planted - was not the least of the
advantages she would be able to enjoy.
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