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by Albert Russo

Don’t ask why, but these things often happen in them olden times. The only people who survived an umpteenth massacre were two women, an old lady, skin and bones and stinking of bad breath and her daughter-in-law Ruth - ‘ruthless’ must come from that lassie.

It’s unbelievable and totally unconscious, how often Jews got killed or almost wiped out in the last thousands of years, as if because they are often the smartest geeks, they offend the stupid majority of the Western world, along with the Islamists. And the brainless of today want to do the same thing, only now, it’s the turn of the Israelis to pound ruthlessly and fight these blood-thirsty gooks in preventive attacks.

Enough already, do you hear? Yeah, I am warning you too, my good readers. If ever anyone of you tries to even think of killing other Jews, you’ll be surprised at what is coming to you. Oh, am I being insistent? I advise you to go join the monkeys, or even better the mighty gorillas. They’re my friends and you might learn a thing or two from them. So stop offending our cousins by calling your enemies monkeys, ok. That’s what Jews are called in the Kuran, besides being pigs. Well, well, well, how clever the goon was who wrote that in them unholy pages! He probably thought that he himself was a boorish boar.

These two women were Moabites - it’s a tribe - and Naomi, the old hag, said to her daughter-in-law:

“Leave me here, for I have no more strength. Your are still very young. You must go to Israel, find work and search for a nice strong husband who can look after you and start a family.”

“Noooo way!” burped Ruthie, “you will come with me, even if Goddess didn’t save your poor husband and your son, my dear husband, and abandoned you.”

As soon as they reached the land of Israel, the two joined other field workers to gather grain. That field belonged to Boaz, a wealthy relative of Naomi. He was so impressed by the young girl’s protective attitude towards her mother-in-law, laboring so hard and caring for her needs, that he told the pretty widow:

“Ask me whatever you wish, and I’ll give it to you.”

“Well, huh, huh, woah”, stuttered Ruthie, “dear… huh … dear … Naomi thought you might be a good husband to me and thinks that we should get married asap.”

In them methusalemish days, young people had no choice. They had to do what their parents commanded them to do. In this case, however, Ruthie liked the hunk who owned the field, and that he was stone-rich - before his plot of land could be tilled, it was strewn with boulders and rocks that had to be crushed into smithereens and then discarded in order for grains to be planted - was not the least of the advantages she would be able to enjoy.