Queen Esther -
wins
by Albert Russo
Bonka started squinting
dangerously, that’s when he feels the ground
shifting under his feet. I was afraid his eyes
might sink into their orbits forever, so I calmed
down and sweetypied him.
“That’s
computerese I was speaking, Unky, everything in
it is virtual. Here I’ll show you.”
And a few minutes later his
vision became normal again. Can you imagine,
having an uncle looking at you just with the
white of his eyes. I’d be frightened to
death, like I had a ghost in front of me.
King Xerxes may not have
known that his wife was Jewish, but he couldn’t
care less, she was so smart and sooo
fantabulously beautiful. Damn MCPs, they can’t
resist beauty, even if the lassie is the most
stupid thing in the world, which wasn’t the
case here.
“My Master,”
Esther said, unsmiling - she wasn’t a bimbo
- “Now that you know what Haman is up to, I’ll
ask you to hang him for all his past crimes and
for wanting to kill the Jewish folk living in
your empire.”
The feast of Purim is the
joyful event the Jews all over the world and
especially in Israel celebrate every year in
honor of Queen Esther, who saved her people from
the evil Haman. His descendants, who want to do
the same to the Jews and to their lil country,
but with modern and ultra sofisticle
weapons, are the Hamas, the Hezbollah and
specially the Iranian terrorists.
Somebody complained to me,
saying that I was obsessed with these Islamic
terrorists. And so I should be. Look how they
poison our lives, wherever we live on this here
planet of ours. They kill, rape and maim
innocents everywhere. And because of them I hate
to fly, having to wait hours on end at airports
so that we get inspected, taking our shoes off,
our watches, our rings and whatnots. I
sometimes have to laugh on account that, when
Unky Berky undoes his belt, his pants fall to his
ankles and every one around us can see his
flowery boxers and his funny socks. This doesn’t
only happen in airports, but in department stores,
in theaters, in open air ceremonies, and so
fork and ding dong. Yeah, I’ll keep
repeating this every time my uncle and I have to
go out or take a plane, a train or a cruise ship.
Shiiit, you fookin’ Islamists, may your
brains explode, every time you think of
committing an other of your poofy crimes.
And I’m not nearly as vulgar as these
murderous gremlins.
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