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Queen Esther - continued
by Albert Russo

Unlike many of the female blabbermouths - yeah, right, some of our sistern unlike our MCP brethren talk a lot of hogwash because they’re so jealous of each other - Queen Esther had learned to keep certain truths to herself.

The king promised to reward Mordecai, but at the same time he named the brutal warrior-in-chief and Vizir Haman. The ladder became so snooty and arrogant that everybody had to bow before him. But Mordecai who knew how evil he was refused to obey his orders. Haman flew into a huge rage and blurted so violently that he almost swallowed his tongue: “That Jew will pay for this very dearly, I shall annihilate that whole bloody Jewish population, like the vermin that they are!’

Warned by her cousin, the queen rushed to inform her hubby, again, without first requesting the necessary formal invitation - risking to be put to death for not following the rules, menshshsh! - but she couldn’t care less, because if she did not tell the king of the menace that hung over her people, an awful carnage would take place.

“Oh my Lord, oh my mighty Lord,” she first whimpered, then suddenly cried out like a wounded tigress, “You did once tell me that I could ask you for favors. Well, I have just learned that Haman wants to destroy every Jew in the land of Persia, I’m talking about my people.”

“My sweet, beautiful Esther,” the king said, with a grin that looked like he was going to smother her with a thousand smooches, before swallowing her alive, “indeed, I promised that you could ask me anything, so what is it that you want me to do, oh most divine of all queens? and I shall grant it to you with all my heart and unbound love.”

That’s called being enamored, bewitched, bowled over, besotted, beguiled and twitter patted pat pat … when they twittered then, they cooed like birds and it lasted much longer than our 140 words of nowadays. Look up the word in your dictionary, coz in our speedo era one definition out of two is so twistified that our folks no longer understand their children’s gibberish. Like when I first taught Unky Berky to use a computer, telling him to throw an old file in the trash bin, he pulled out an old notebook from the shelf and started shredding pages. Coming back from the loo, I was horrified, on account that he was throwing the diary he wrote when he was young lad in Italy.

“Stop it, Bonka, what the hell are you doing!” I blurted out.

“You said that I should throw all the old stuff in the dustbin, and that’s what I was doing.” he meowed.

“Not the real papers, you clot!” No, I’m not disrespective, or whatever one says in this case. My uncle and I are buddies, we grew up together, since my father, the nerd, abandoned my mom and me when I was still a baby.