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Noah's Zoo
by Albert Russo

Goddess allowed Noah to embark with seven pairs of every animal that existed on this here planet; the, rest, i.e., the overwhelming majority of their brethren and sistern were destroyed, along with the countless disobeying people - how many were they then, in the thousands or in the millions? She prefers to keep mum about the numbers. Don’t ask me how She got rid of them all. Though I have a tingling ticklish inkling - wow, I get this in places too intimate to reveal - that She either drowned them in the ocean or, if they still lived in the mountains, tossed them into the forests and lit huge fires - I suddenly think of poor Joan of Arc who got burnt at the stake by the English, shameful lot that they were, attacking such a young and courageous girl. I count her among my felinist heroins, like Marie Curie, Princess Sissy of Austria, Princess Diana, Simone Veil who rests with her hubby at the Pantheon mausoleum in Paris - get wikipeepied if you want to know who they are, I refuse to be your walking encyclopaedia.

The Bible says that it took 120 full years for Noah to build his Ark. In them pre-computer days, they must have often mistaken months or even days for years. The boat most probably was built in 120 days. Many people nowadays have similar tics. Even I say that a movie which in reality is thirty years old dates back to Mathew & Salem, which is a wee bit exaggerated. I guess that in some forgotten nook of our modern brain there are still memories left from our ancestors the cavemen.

It was a warning that soon some parts of the earth were drying up. It took another six months before Noah and his passengers saw land. After six months or so, as the level of the water dropped, Goddess sent a dove holding an olive branch in its beak to soar above the Ark. Seven days later, they all disembarked and set foot on an island.

And it’s always the same story: the humans and the animals all had a lot of babies and multiplied, so much so that they had to find other lands and so repopulated the earth.

It seems that Goddess treats her creashuns like they were pieces of a huge puzzle. She tosses them around and scrambles them, then, like the Grand Magician that She is, She puts them in place, which is easy for Her, since She has numbered them on the back - clever cookie that She is. But sometimes She forgets or plays a lil too fast, then … badaboom, accidents occur like landslides, tsunamis or earthquakes, and instead of feeling sorry, coz She will never bow down or admit she made an error, She grumbles amid the din of a thunderstorm: “I will punish you every time you fail me.” That’s too easy, is what I says.