Mowowses
by Albert Russo
There was one place which
escaped the visit of pharaoh’s soldiers, and
that was Jochebed’s hut. Her sister Miriam
wove a wicker basket so that her three-month-old
baby could be saved. The tiny boat was sent
floating on the river near where pharaoh’s
daughter was resting. Miriam was hiding in the
bulrushes (that’s where the bull shits),
following the scene, because very soon the
princess got sight of that strange little basket
and found a baby boy lying in it. She immediately
understood that it was the child of a Hebrew
family. He was so cute that her heart melted and
she absolutely wanted to adopt it. She then asked
her maids to look for a woman who could nurse him.
That is when Miriam appeared, offering her
services. It shook her so much that she gagged,
trying not to break into tears, but she peed for
joy and thanked Goddess for what she believed was
a miracle.
The princess named the baby
Moses on account that she had pulled him out of
the holy waters of the river Nile. She allowed
the baby to be cared for in the home of his
parents until he was four years old, after which
Little Moses was taken to the palace where he
would spend the rest of his life - or so the
princess thought.
At the court of pharaoh
Moses grew to become a handsome and strong young
man, and as such he was given all the privileges
of a real prince. He would visit many sites of
the country in order to check if everything was
in order and if the population had enough to eat.
One day he witnessed a scene that was going to
change the course of his life. As he watched a
group of Hebrew slaves toiling, an Egyptian guard
suddenly started to beat one of them with such
fury that he almost killed him. Moses’ blood
boiled and struck the guard so hard that he fell
to the ground and died.
When the news got to
pharaoh, the ladder became mad as a
hatter - so say the Brits, even when you don’t
wear a hat - and ordered his guard to kill him,
on account that he now considered Moses a traitor.
But fortunately, the Hebrew prince fled before
the guards could catch him and, after a long and
dusty ride, he reached the land of Midian.
Moses was welcomed by the
people there and decided to live like them as a
shepherd. Now, I don’t know how I would feel
if a were a pretty princess - my uncle who has
good taste thinks that I look like a child
actress of the age of me-tooth-and-sell-them
who was called the lil darlin’ of Hollywood
- and then I would be forced to tend to stinking
goats and sheep, having to milk them bleating
animals, while tramping on their ball-shaped shit.
Goshette, how low can you fall to save
your life!
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