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by Albert Russo

Low, very very low and bee-hold, Goddess recompensed Job the pip-squeak after he atoned, and the ladder began to pee uncontrollably, kneeling on his own blood, in a gesture of total submission - then suddenly he learnt that the word Islam, a future religion, actually meant submission.

Nowadays thousands of Fonda-mental-islamists around the world terrorize the beejeezette out of people doing their usual thing by submitting to the urge of killing them in any way they can, which is most barbaric and coward, since those poor folk are not even warned that their soul will leave them in a matter of seconds, let alone that so many of them get maimed for life. I heard someone say that there is no word to qualify such acts. Well I have just invented a definition for them: monsteroids fulla haemorrhoids where there should be a brain. And I haven’t finished cursing these women-, gay-, human-, art-haters, who are also über-dinosaurish critters, for, whenever my uncle and I travel by plane, having to wait 3 friggin’ hours at airports, forced to get almost naked, on account that we have to be searched, even in places too shocking to mention. Some of them guys who do that kind of work touch you so lecherously you’d think they are teaching us to become go-go gals and guys. Sometimes, between my growls I have hiccups mixed with the giggles - I then sound like a ticklish dolphin - coz my uncle’s pants drop to his feet, after he is asked to take out his belt, and everybody can see the ridiculous Mickey Mouse boxer shorts he wears; thank goodness the elastic holding to his waist is tight enough, otherwise, they’d have to call the police for indecent exposure.

These monsteroids deserve to be judged like in the Middle Ages, since they don’t belong to our civilization. They oughta be submitted to the kind of torture the Chinese of yore were so good at: to slowly pull their limbs apart, after having been impaled, until they looked like what you see in a butcher’s back yard. I’m sure the pieces of these poor goons who were dealt such a cruel treatment sometimes just for having squinted at the emperor, not because they wanted to offend him, but because they were born squinters, were then thrown to the poor hungry people who believed that what they were getting so generously was the choice parts of piglets. But no, in our democrittering societies, if these purpurtraitors fulla pus don’t succeed in committing suicide, they get the benefit of real justice … shmustice, is what I call that. It’s like trying to reason with a crocodile who has just eaten a baby hippo. If you fail to understand what I mean, go ask your sky-kayak-tryst for an explanation. He’ll probably find some kind of setchual motive for such behavior. My mom who once had a psychotic lover says that they’re all sex addicts anyway.