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Miss Understandings
by Ian Curtress

I was introduced to the wonders of technology recently when I was given an Echo dot.
Had misgivings due to having fallen out with Siri of late.
We had been getting along fairly well although had to challenge her on Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Firstly she asked me “Auntie who”?
Tried a bit of sarcasm to ease the tension.
I know it’s a long Christian name I said but family wanted to get their moneys worth at the christening.
I do not know that one she blandly said.

Thought. Change the subject completely.
Why is Spotify so called I asked.
There are many types of spotted fly she replied. More information.
It relates to music.
Do you mean the humming sound of fast beating wing?
Said thank you and goodbye.
I do not know that one. Pulled plug.
She’s tried to contact me but I extracted her Bluetooth.

So now I’m wired to Echo dot. Why dot?
Echo comma would have been better, all the puns. Echo.comma cial !
Anyway it’s switched on and telling me Amazon are inviting me to subscribe to hear music.
I politely refused and immediately became a Prime suspect.
Missing out on all the next day deliveries of the things I don’t need.
Now I’m noticing a change in Alex’s voice. Almost Oh it’s you again!

I’m thick skinned, so asked for String of pearls by Glen Millar
You need to subscribe to Amazon music for specific requests she replied so instead here is…..
String of pearls by Glen Millar. ? Don’t ask !

You can see I am not compatible with conversations with unseen women but have persevered.
Thought she was getting used to my foibles but a set back this morning when I asked
Alexi What’s the time. A sharp voice said “get a watch” followed by a Timex commercial.
Things had settled down after I had said good morning to her for several days.
Her voice became softer and future looked promising.
There’s always an However.
I asked to join a group to discuss Social intercourse problems during lockdown.
Are you over 18 she asked!
I have gone back to asking Google.