The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Joey and his Treacherous Brothers
by Albert Russo

Pharaoh was so relieved and impressed by Joseph’s predictions, which turned out to be real prophecies, that he named Joseph Grand Vizier, making him the most important of all the VIPs of his kingdom. He even slipped his own gold ring studded with precious stones on Joey’s finger to prove the high regard he had for him.

Thanks to the new and handsome Grand Vizier, who had an incredible sharp vision, the people of Egypt prepared themselves for the following famine, avoiding thus to become a bunch of toothless anorexics, wearing shmotters three times their size, they would have lost so much weight.

The favorite daughter of the Great Priest fell in love with the young miracle worker and they soon got married. While the Egyptians lived comfortably through the drought years, the peoples of the surrounding countries suffered terribly and had to chew on dry grass - that’s when they discovered crack and got stoned, dreaming of delicious shish kebab and corn on the cob drenched in butter, all the while they were drooling like scrawny mamzerim (‘miserable wretches’ in Hebrew), with their tongues the color of bark and ready to split in pieces.

A lot of immigrants came from Canaan to Egypt in order to buy food and other stuff they badly needed, such as wicker baskets, kitchen pottery and cheap cloth - not jewels or designer garments, jerk! When you look like a ghost, you don’t try to look pretty, you scare the bejeezette out of the well-fed dudes and their big-bosomed wifeys.

Among these foreigners Joseph recognized his Goddess-forsaken brothers, who now were skin and bones, so much so that they couldn’t even smile at him, on account that their facial skin had become taut and a greenish brown, that looked like duck shit. I’m not even mentioning the stink they carried along, after their month-long walk, with nowhere to wash or change clothes. A good thing Joseph was standing on a pedestal at a distance while some slaves were fanning him with mint- and rose-perfumed peacock feathers. Otherwise he would have fainted. He was at once disgusted and sad to see in what state these sinful brothers were. But before revealing who he was, he decided to test them and said: “You are nothing but spies”.

That’s when they told him that they were the ten sons of the great chieftain Jacob.

“We’ve come here, your Highness, because we shall soon have nothing to eat at home, our flocks of sheep are dying out, the drought has burnt most of our crops. We are neither spies nor thieves, just people in need of food.” whined the eldest of the brothers. You could see that he was forcing himself to cry, but the damn tears couldn’t come out, his eyes were so dry. So, he exaggerated his grimace and his face suddenly had the features of them masks the ancient Greeks wore when they played at the theater - uuugly as siiin!