The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Jake and Fez at the Casino
by Michael A. Skrien

Jake emerged from the back seat of the Bentley like James Bond, straightening his black bow tie and walking into the Casino as though he owned it. He winked at the cashier behind the cage large stack of money for chips. He was headed straight for Roulette Table.

Jake had spent the last six months observing and placing small time bets at The Casino Malaise, playing roulette. He had a knack for remembering numbers and kept a mental record of all the numbers that hit, how often, at what time of day, and who was running the table. He did this incognito so when he appeared on this night, no one recognized him.

His entire life’s savings would be on the line as his mental acuity was tested. He approached the table, glancing around the room. His black hair gelled back, he looked confident. He set his chips on the table and shoved half of them to “Black.” This raised a few eyebrows as it was the maximum bet - $100,000. He smiled at the croupier as if to say: “Well?” The others placed their bets and several parroted Jake’s bet, feeling something big. The croupier gave the ball a spin in what seemed a bit of an extra effort for good measure. It spun around and around, a few folks making late bets until the wave of the hand over table signified no more bets. The ball fell into the slotted section of the wheel and began tumbling about. It bounced all over, off the green “zero” slot which caused a gasp and finally settled on a section between 33 and 14, dancing off the 20 and 33 and resting in on RED 1.

“I’m sorry, Monsieur.” The chips were raked away.

The table groaned. Jake looked at the croupier, then around the table. Faces of grief met his gaze. He smirked and as soon as the chips were off the table, he pushed all his remaining chips on one number, RED 1.

“But monsieur, that is a highly improbable bet! The odds were more than 1400 against!”

The table was giddy now, with whispers and even shouts to others around the casino to come have a look.

“Leave it.” Jake said. A few people supported Jake’s claim despite the impossible odds and placed a few chips on RED 1, hoping to be part of something epic. Jake again nodded at the croupier, who gave the tiny ball as hard a spin as he could without flinging it across the room. It spun for eternity, then started bouncing. The suspense was over the top. It danced around the same area it had last time, skipping over RED 1 more than once as the crowd held its breath. The ball landed directly on the rim of RED 1 and bounced seven slots to its left and landed squarely in BLACK 29, where it remained. “NOOOO!” The audience groaned.
“I’m sorry, monsieur.” But then he turned, “Congratulations, Sir! Well played!”

Jake and the crowd turned to the man on the receiving end of a $100,000 bet placed precisely on BLACK 29. It was Fez dressed in his ballerina tutu.