Is this Heaven?
by Bill Tope
The newly-dead lay
unattended in
the chapel, but the room was filled
with whispers.
The shadows of the long-dead
wrangled and bickered and quarreled
over the suitability of the corpse in
residence to join their unearthly
estate. The argument was spirited,
so to speak, particularly amongst two
of the ghostly denizens.
One female spirit took exception to
allowing him in. "In life he was a
heavy
smoker," she complained. "Gather
near
the coffin, and you can still smell it on
his
clothes."
"That may be," said her male
companion
spirit, "but in the afterlife, there
is no
tobacco."
"He was also a drunk!" she said
with a
sniff. "No alcohol in heaven either,"
the
other spirit pointed out. Though she was
invisible, one could almost see her lips
tighten.
"Furthermore," she went on
crossly, "he
was something of a Lothario during his
earthly existence. Who'll protect us
women?" she wanted to know.
He replied, "In heaven there is also
no
....well, at any rate, your virtue is
safe." He
paused for a moment. "Say," he
asked,
"are you certain that we're in
heaven?" |
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