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I Never Meant
by Bill Tope

"Oh, shut the hell up, Robert," cried Dawn,
lifting her purse off the bar and making for
the door.  If he wanted to come on to other
women in the tavern, then let him.  But,
with her best friend!  She decided, she
wouldn't be humiliated or lied to anymore.
What was it he had said?  What he always
said:  "I never meant to hurt you."
"Babe...Babe," said Robert, moving to
block her exit.  "Move it or lose it," she
warned him.  He grinned winningly and
approached her with his hands extended
widely, prepared, as was his style, to take
her lovingly into his embrace.  Robert had
magic hands!  As he well knew.
"Babe," he cooed, "you don't really
mean that!"  She looked down at her
feet, and he smiled triumphantly. 
Robert always won; they both thought
that at the same time.
Then, quick as a cat, she kneed him
smartly in the groin.  Robert's face
assumed the aspect of a ripe tomato,
just before he collapsed into a fetal
position upon the tavern floor.  
She really couldn't help herself: 
"Robert, I never meant to hurt you," she
said and then flounced out of the

Originally published by Children,
Churches and Daddies