Dog Talk &
Ripov/2
by Albert Russo
Whenever Mrs. Lippincott
lost at a bridge game, she'd throw her partners
out, swearing like a fish-monger. She'd become
even more impossible since she'd started dating
the Marvin boyfriend. Was the man civil with Toby?
No, just plain indifferent. And there was nothing
Toby disliked so much as indifference.
The Lippincott person
adamantly maintained he was jealous of her Marvin
friend. Manshshsshsh!
Had Toby's relationship
with his mistress always been so painful? Not
when Toby was a pup. The Lippincott creature
couldn't do enough to pamper her sole sweetheart.
For reasons which still escape Toby, she likened
men to the pig species. And Toby was put on a
pedestal, belonging as it were to the superior
canine caste?!
No, no, those were indeed
heavenly times for Toby. The Lippincott person
would parade with her sweetheart. taking him to
parties, cocktails, shows, you name it. To top it
all, Toby garnered several beauty contests and he
even appeared on the front page of Dog World,
earning himself the coveted Dog-of-the-Month title.
After that, the Lippincott
creature had a nervous breakdown. (It sometimes
happens to authors after their first bestseller).
Now that Toby had reached maturity and could no
longer participate in contests, his mistress
would call him a good-for-nothing, a 'spoiled
brat’, and other such insulting names. So
that was it!
Ripov felt quite moved
after hearing Toby's story. A bright idea
suddenly struck him. He and Toby talked it over
and they both finally came to the same conclusion.
Ripov knew a wonderful old couple who longed for
a companion like Toby to retire with in Bermuda.
But the day Toby landed at
Hamilton Airport, already sniffing the spicy
fragrances of his new home, Ripov was sitting in
jail. The Lippincott person had wanted to kill
Ripov and the kitten he had offered her in
exchange for Toby's freedom. Instead, she called
the police. That's what happens when people
confuse dogtalk and gibberish.
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