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Corona ... Morona
by Albert Russo

If you’ve done your homework properly for your 101 course in I DON’T WANT TO DIE STUPID AND DISHONORED, and read the 15-odd episodes of my GOSH ZAPINETTE Series - yeah it was published in English, French and Eyetalian, and got awards, washmore, yeah and triple yeah! - that I’m a felinist - that’s post-modern feminism, since it’s the Big Cats who now show us the way. By the way, did you know that in Norway, they still wear bear furs? I saw a shop in Bergen selling extra large white bear coats. A squadron of dribbling moma bears oughta descend from their cosy mountains, drop in that shop and mawl the owner and anyone trying these fur coats.

If you didn’t know it yet, I’m part of the Agnoshtic family.
For those of you who believe there is someone above us, it’s a Goddess, and NOT that macho Shmool people continue to address whenever they can’t cope with stress. Like NOW! And if there IS indeed a Goddess, well, she has nothing to be proud of, punishing humanity like this. If I were a believer I would curse her. Blaspheme is quite legitimate, coz it belongs to freedom of expreshun, which is written in the Constitushen, Goddess or no goddess. And washmore, the government in DC oughta first wash their brains and their mouths, then change the wording on our dollar bills, from ‘In God we trust’ to ‘Trust no one but yourself’, so says I.

Again, if you’ve been a good student and read my stuff, you would recall that I am French, American and Eyetalian. Try to call me any of these names: Frog, Gringich or Wop, and you’ll get the smack of your life! Concerning that freedom of expreshun bit, I don’t think the NRA is kosher, with or without Ketchup, coz killing one’s neighbors or one’s schoolmates oughtn’t to be included in those liberties. Freedom of killing isn’t a valid option! We should stop playing cowboys and Indians, that game belongs to the past, along with racism, antisemitism and slaverism.

That mamzer (good-for-nothing) - yeah I picked up the word during our trip in Israel - of a Cowvid 19 is driving us all crazy in different ways. I’m only twelve and some, remember, and I’m much too young to die, so say the doctors, even if they still don’t know whether we got the disease from cows gone mad because of being milked by heartless robots, of from Africa’s waltzing macaques.

President Macaron of France - mmm, I looove them round and soft cookies that melt in your mouth! - believes we should be cloistered in our homes from 9 pm to 5 am. What’s the use, since those are the hours most people are hogging out, watching television, or slipping into bed to do things too hornygraphic to mention here, after which they plunge into their nightly shluf, usually snoring like Porky Bacon, the father of the three little pigs.

Excerpt 2 from CORONA ZAPINETTE by Albert Russo