The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Back to Egypt with Benji
by Albert Russo

“Did your father have sons other than the ten of you?” asked prince Joey.

“Two, your Highness: Benjamin, the youngest, who remained with our father and … er … er … another one who died a long time ago.” answered the liar.

Instead of showing himself merciful, Joey sent his ten brothers to jail.

After three days, he called for them. They were sniffling, slobbering and gnashing their teeth - they had lost half of them - like a pack of scrawny mutts who could barely stand on their legs, they were now trembling something awful, both out of weakness and out of fear, so much so that the floor got soon covered with rivulets of piss. And if you lent an attentive ear, you could hear their bones rattle.

“Ok, folks,” said Joey the prince, actually he was a guv’nor, “buy your grain, but to make sure you aren’t spies, I’ll keep one of you in prison, while you go back to your land and bring me your youngest brother.”

Distraught and dragging the heavy sacks of grain they had bought, the nine brothers trekked back to their birthplace and told their father all about their strange stay in Egypt, that their brother Simeon was locked behind bars and that they had to return to Egypt with Benjamin.

Old Jacob was aghast - though he did look a bit ghostly on account that he too had lost half of his former weight - and cried: “Never, I won’t let Benjamin follow you, I’ve already lost Joseph, and I don’t want the same to happen to him.”

When they opened the sacks, they were all very surprised: with the food was the money they had given the guv’nor to buy it.

The weeks passed, the nine brothers were restless and sweating profusely, coz they knew that if they didn’t bring their baby brother to the guv’nor, the ladder would have Simeon killed. They soon reached a point where the grain was getting scarce and they began to have hunger pangs again. They begged their father to let Benjamin accompany them, promising him to take extra good care of their baby brother. They finally convinced old Jacob and made their way back to the land of Egypt.

A few weeks later, they all stood before guv’nor Joey. Upon seeing Benjamin, he became cold and stiff, on account that he remembered that his darling mom had died after having born the baby boy, and not to show his emotions, he suddenly left the room.

A few minutes later guv’ner Joey reappeared at the banquet and allowed his brothers to serve themselves and indulge in the best food they’d ever had in their entire life. Because they all felt uneasy, not understanding why they were so royally treated, they ate like the starving storks they looked like, pecking at the delicacies, while their tummies were grumbling so loud, you’d thought they were training for some kind of techno gut music.