A Vignette on
the Culinary Vicissitudes of a Spoiled Cat
by Bill Tope
“Here you
are, Freya,” murmured Wendy coaxingly,
approaching the cat with an opened can of
Friskies Pheasant Frappe. “Specially
frozen just for you, Sugar!” She set
the can before the little gray creature.
Freya furrowed her brow, then rose to her feet
and peered into the container, sniffing.
Looking up questioningly at Wendy, Freya then
twitched her whiskers and hissed sibilantly.
“Well, is
that nice?” asked the human bean plaintively.
Again Freya hissed. “Well,” said Wendy,
“if you don’t want it then I know a
grateful cat that will be happy to accomodate me!”
And with that she turned to the door and swept it
open, tossing the can of goodies outside.
In a flash there was a feline blur who dashed up
and gorged himself, before the can even hit the
ground. (Munch, munch, munch, and so on).
Shutting the
door on the glutted cat, Wendy faced another
dilemma: what would Freya eat now? She
already turned down the Pheasant Frappe, the T-bone
Steak with Asparagus, and the Bacon-wrapped
Shrimp with Bourbon Glaze--heavy on the Bourbon.
What could she possibly tempt the finicky cat
with next? Wendy dug her knuckles into her
chin as she thought.
“I’ve
got it!” announced Wendy triumphantly.
Freya, again prone upon the tiger skin rug,
regarded her for a moment, then yawned widely and
licked her paw, which she then rubbed across the
top of her head. Wendy turned her back on
the cat dismissively.
Working with a
frenzy born of inspiration, she chopped and
dashed and sliced and cooked and at length came
up with her masterpiece. She stood back a step to
admire her handiwork. And there she had it:
Lobster a la Niporentine, a resplendent lobster
with Mornay Sause and cat nip. Wend kissed the
tips of her fingers and said, “c’est
le meilleur!”
Freya, of
course, devoured the treat as if she had never
seen food before; however, there is a melancholy
end to this tale: infatuated with catnip-enhanced
comestibles, Freya never again ate an unfortified
repast and was soon in rehab, beset by a profound
addiction to catnip. She is at step 5 of a 12-step
rehabilitative program.
|
