And The Meaning
Of Life Is…?
by George Beckerman
The thirst for
that elusive answer has perplexed and haunted
homo sapiens for thousands of years. Yet like an
enlightenment addict in search of a fix, humanity’s
pursuit relentlessly marches on. So here goes.
To preserve nature – Blew that one
To heed God’s will - Which God?
It doesn’t matter, everything is pre-destined
– Quitter.
To love each and every person equally – Even
those deliberately slow-walking across the street
while texting?
To attain maximal wisdom – Massive student
loan debt, a barely livable post-college wage,
and living in your parents’ basement, anyone?
To release yourself from pain – Enhanced
Gummy Bears are the meaning of life?
To orgasm – then what about the other twenty-three
hours, fifty-nine minutes and forty-five seconds?
Do whatever you want, life has no meaning –
a.k.a. The 60’s. Turn on, tune in, drop out.
Then in the 70’s they all went to work for
giant, soulless corporations.
Being good – Jesus already tried that. R.I.P.
Listening before you speak – Hello, Twitter,
goodbye listening
If life has no meaning, give it one – See
Attila The Hun, Adolph Hitler, Jim Jones and 45.
Dedicate your life to giving – The
unimaginable horde of takers will adore the hell
out of you.
In the end, the love you take is equal to the
love you make – Maybe in an Octopus’s
garden.
Trying to solve this question leads to more
bewilderment and frustration. It will
probably be forever unanswerable. Oh wait!
Chocolate cheesecake – BINGO!
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