A Funny Thing
by Bill Tope
Sequestered in the kitchen
of her palatial estate, Molly stood at the stove,
stirring a burbling pot of rich, savory chili.
Her best friend, Agnes, sat on a stool at the
counter, reading a magazine.
"Haw, haw, haw!"
bellowed Agnes, slapping her thighs with
unbridled mirth. "That Llib Epot; he's a
card, I tell you, a real card!" And she
laughed some more. Agnes was perusing Molly's
copy of the May issue of Blight Magazine: an
Anthology of Humorous and Embarrassing Tales of
the Aged and Infirm. "Hoo-hoo-hoo,"
Agnes went on, spreading wide the pages of the
book. "It's got here about that 107-year-old
woman that slipped on here cat and tumbled down a
flight of stairs. "Now this fella, Epot,"
she asserted, jabbing a finger at a foldout photo
of an old woman in traction, "knows what's
genuinely funny!"
"I don't know,"
replied Molly uncertainly. "It seems rather
in bad taste to me." She drew her fingers to
her lips.
"Molly Bell, you're an
old fuddy-duddy!" exclaimed Agnes with vigor.
"Well," conceded
Molly. "Perhaps you're right. I mean, I don't
keep up with all those new comics and comedians
like you do. You know: Jack Benny, Bob Hope,
Shecky Green..."
"New comics?"
screeched an outraged Agnes. "Those old war
horses? They've all been dead for thirty years! I'm
talking new talent: Richard Pryor, Smother's
Brothers, and Red Skelton. Get with the program,
girl!" She snapped impatiently.
"Hey," said Agnes
excitedly, "are you going to do the activity
page this month? They've got a crossword that I've
got to do!" She indicated the book.
"No, go ahead,"
said Molly generously. "Help yourself."
"Ooh, Goody! I want to
do the word search too."
"What's the theme this
month?" inquired Molly.
"Gastric blastomas and
Other Cancers of the Disabled," answered
Agnes, folding back the page and taking up a
pencil.
With a shake of her head,
Molly went back to stirring her chili.
Originally
published in “Little Old Lady Comedy”
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