After Joey,
After Eight
by Albert Russo
O yeah, do I love these
stories full of twists and turns! The Bible is
full of them. See now why reading it is so much
fun. And NO, they’re not the words of
Goddess, Reverend Shlock, they’re the work
of writers like Ms Rowling, Shake’em Pears
and … me. Yeah, they’re all the fruit
of our imagination, even if some heroes and
heroins are supposed to have really existed, like
king David, king Solomon, Judith, the courageous
gal who slit the head of Holophernes who wanted
to kill the Jews, beautiful queen Esther, Jesus,
whom the Romans called INRI (if you didn’t
know what these Latin letters meant, here it is:
Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews - it’s
amazing how so many Christians don’t know
that he was Jewish, like his parents and the
apostles, ignoramousies!)
So, back to the Babbledum.
The new pharaoh forgot all
about the times when Joseph saved Egypt from the
seven plagues and instead began to look upon the
Hebrew population who had flourished in his land
as a nuisance, maybe he was comparing them to
locusts, on account that they had become quite
numerous and looked a bit too healthy.
“I’ll show them,
fat friggin foreigners,” he thought, and he
ordered his soldiers to make them work as slaves,
using them to build new pyramids and other
monuments. But even as they were being mistreated
with insults and lashings, the Heebs seemed to
grow even stronger and more muscular.
“Wow wow wow!,”
exclaimed pharaoh, “these people seem to be
unbreakable, I shall take drastic measures that
will cut short their proliferation.”
And so, the Sun King
ordered his officers to go at night to every
Hebrew house and kill all the baby boys. He must
have been the one to give the first hint to Herr Meshuggele
Hitler, who perfected the system by eliminating,
not only the boys, but the whole Jewish folk - he
almost succeeded in wiping them out from the face
of Europe, the Mamzer, for a few did
escape his industrial death chambers.
Torrents of blood and tears
flowed in the Hebrew encampments of Egypt. This
is where I want to curse you Goddess, you who are
so quickly ready to call us sinners. Come on now,
how sinful were those poor innocent baby boys,
who by the way, were circumcised, to please You?
Not to speak of the millions the nazis sent in
smoke through huge chimneys in Poland and in
Germany. Oh, so, I have already complained about
this! You’re like those people who can’t
suffer to hear the Jews lamenting about their
losses. Well, to them I say, how about, if we
sent your kids down the drain, your grandparents,
your dog, your cat, as well as your budgies. I’d
like to see if you will sing a song of sixpence
then go and pig out on nachos and hot chocolate
to celebrate these events.
|
