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What Only Parents Say
by Mick ” SeasnŠin

pop off Spider-Man's head and brush your teeth
how do you think the faucet broke?
don't put chewed food in the take home box

I'm not sure how many minutes until the baby comes
yes, caperdillars do become bufferflies
we only put poop and pee in the potty

why would you put that in your nose?
someone needs to go to the bathroom…and push
who pooped in the tub?

I hope the KKK club goes away forever, too
yes, you do need to wait until your wienert stops dropping pee
It's not OK to water the dog

who colored the grout lines green?
when did we say you could cut your sister's hair?
what special ingredient did you add?

all the Christmas lights don't just accidentally fall down
survive means stay alive, not stay dead
was that a low flying duck?

stop hitting her
stop kicking him
stop whining

because I said so
sometimes even Moms and Dads make mistakes
no, I probably won't be dead before you're all grown up

This poem received honorable mention in the 2018 Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest