To Do List For
The Extraterrestrial's Last Week On Earth
by R.D. Ronstad
|Sweep up around
Store up on spackle (Yum!) for the long
Abduct at least one Earthling so as not
to disappoint the rest of them (jk!).
Pay final respects to Chuck Berry. (Thanks
for the invite, Chuck!)
Return E.T. (the movie, not E.T.) to
Roswell Public Library.
De-woof the warp drive.
Find suitable parting gift for the rat
leader (i.e., the leader of the rats, not
Pick up toy for Kitty that will keep her
occupied on the trip homeperhaps
that joke-of-a-neighbor Pritchards
Assemble data from my observations of the
goings-on at Kitt Observatory. (Is this
an example of what Earthlings call irony?
Decades on earth and Im still not
Call Allplanet and adjust deductible.
Visit MasterCard offices and flash a few
Knock on the Tardis's door, then hide
behind Mars (great fun!)
Leave key under the mat for IG-88.