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To Do List For The Extraterrestrial's Last Week On Earth
by R.D. Ronstad

Sweep up around Stonehenge.
Store up on spackle (Yum!) for the long trip home.
Abduct at least one Earthling so as not to disappoint the rest of them (jk!).
Pay final respects to Chuck Berry. (Thanks for the invite, Chuck!)
Return E.T. (the movie, not E.T.) to Roswell Public Library.
De-woof the warp drive.
Find suitable parting gift for the rat leader (i.e., the leader of the rats, not you-know-who).
Pick up toy for Kitty that will keep her occupied on the trip home—perhaps that joke-of-a-neighbor Pritchard’s new Buick.
Assemble data from my observations of the goings-on at Kitt Observatory. (Is this an example of what Earthlings call irony? Decades on earth and I’m still not sure.)
Call Allplanet and adjust deductible.
Visit MasterCard offices and flash a few people MIB-style.
Knock on the Tardis's door, then hide behind Mars (great fun!)
Leave key under the mat for IG-88.